Storm of Colors: Eeveelution Adventure Story

prologue

A man and a woman sat, each cross-legged, in a room filled with screens. The man pressed a microphone to the woman's lips, who was smiling sickeningly at the nearby cameras.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to DELPHOX News Sunday! Our special guest today is Stacey Hipplington-Shoreditch Dromedary Flibbertigibbet-McStaceyface," said the man, straining. "Stacey here is also an executive of the Sinnoh Trade Development company, or STD for short. Stacey, how's your day going so far?"

The camera panned towards the woman. Her teeth, bared as her smile grows even wider, looked like they definitely would contribute to plastic pollution.

"Fantastic! Thanks, William. I'm absolutely delighted that you're having me for your show today. Such an opportunity," simpered the woman, Stacey. "I can't wait to share with you all what makes STD so successful."

"Why don't you start by sharing with us what STD does to achieve its groundbreaking success?" William's smile looked like a grimace as he leaned closer than he needed to towards Stacey.

"Where do I even begin?" asked Stacey in a way that let everyone know that not only did she know exactly where to begin, she had probably drawn up a Google Slides at some previous point in time that detailed all the appropriate ways to respond in grammatically incorrect bullet points. "I think I should definitely start with our employees. They know what they're working for and they're passionate about it–that's what gives our work quality."

The group of viewers watching the program knew that this was bullshit. There were at least seven ongoing employee negligence cases against the Sinnoh Trade Development company.

"It's great to know you have the customers' best interests in mind. These days, all companies want to do is profit," said William, as if the uneducated moron knew anything at all about corporate functions.

Stacey's grin was like the face of a goat in labor. "Thank you! STD is simply not like the rest–we're special, and that's what lets us progress so quickly."

"Speaking of progress," said William, glancing down at his notes. "Your company has been in a spot of controversy recently because of something you call 'humanism'. Can you tell us a bit about that?"

"Certainly," beamed Stacey. "I believe humanism is a key part of our identities as human beings. However, there is an issue that prevents us humanists from reaching our conceptual goal–Pokémon."

"Sinnoh Trading wants to heighten human achievement, and the only way to do that is to rid the world of Pokémon," continued Stacey with a poorly practiced voice of false gravity. "And this isn't something that many trainers are willing to accept."

"And objectively," said William. "Do you think there are any other benefits of living in a world without Pokémon?"

"First of all, safety. Pokémon are dangerous and unpredictable. After those disasters in Hoenn and the incidents with Deoxys and Mew and Mewtwo in Kanto, I think I can confidently say that everyone agrees that Pokémon, especially Legendary or Mythical Pokémon, are a threat to our safety," said Stacy.

"Definitely," agreed William. "But there are so many Pokémon in the world! How do you plan to, uh, get rid of them?"

"Euthanasia," responded Stacey a bit too quickly. Seriously, somebody shoot this woman. "We're people, so we'll find civilized and ethical ways to put them down. And those who are not willing to give up their Pokémon should be prosecuted immediately. After all domestic Pokémon are euthanized, we'll move on to wild Pokémon, and then Legendary or Mythical Pokémon."