❄️15: I cant believe it❄️

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This fight, I'm not sure if it was intense or not, but I do know that we completely lost contact. I don’t intend to reach out because I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong. The other person, who usually acts oblivious, has disappeared too, leaving me in an anxious state.

No, I’m not wrong. I won’t be the one to approach her first, not this time.

She abandoned me, I can tell. She even went after someone I was talking to, charming them and diverting their attention to herself. That alone made it clear how she feels.

As for Aff, after that day, we stopped talking altogether, as if we had never dated, never invited each other to hang out. We’ve become just coworkers, and strangely enough, I didn’t ask her about it. If she wasn’t going to continue, I wouldn’t follow up either, knowing full well who was truly in my heart.

But the one I actually care for is the type who doesn’t apologize or care. I’m at a loss as to what to do.

Each day on set, I give my all in front of the camera, the spirit of an actor fully on display. But once the director yells “cut,” I return to being sad and lonely, clinging to my phone, hoping she’ll blur things out again, giving me a chance to talk or continue something. But there’s been nothing.

Loving or being infatuated with someone so indifferent is hard. It’s not that she’s closed off—she’s too laid back, so laid back that I’ve become the narrow-minded one.

But can you blame me? She messed with someone I was talking to.

“Quiet today,” Aff said, sitting beside me, her voice normal, like a coworker.

Her demeanor had changed. No longer was there any lingering affection or warmth. Seeing this stirred a bit of annoyance in me, how easily she could change her feelings. But whatever.

“I’m not being quiet. I just don’t know who to talk to. Everyone’s memorizing their lines.”

“But you’re quieter than usual. I noticed.” 

“And you seem quite happy today.”

“I’m just taking it as it comes.”

“No, you’re happy. You must be in love.”

 I circled the topic before deciding I should ask about her sister, whether they were still in touch or not.

 “With Ann?”

“Don’t be silly. Ann’s like a sister.” 

Though she said that, her embarrassment was evident, which only annoyed me more.

“Are you still talking to her?”

“I message her now and then. She replies, but nothing special.” 

“Are you sure there’s nothing?”

“And if there was? What then?”

 Her question felt more teasing than serious. 

“Ann is so sweet... really sweet.”

“Why don’t you take it further then?” 

I snapped sarcastically, but Aff just shook her head.

“We can only take it further if the other person does too. But we’re really just like siblings... come on, she’s a woman. It’s not like I’m courting her.”

“These days, it’s not uncommon for women to date each other.”

 “True.”

It would be normal for her, of course, since we were kind of alike. We just never really discussed it formally.

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