I'm starting to get worried about Jahseh. He barely leaves his room anymore, and when he does he's got his head hanging low, not ever trying to look at me.
I just wish he would talk to me. I need him to talk to me...
I decide to go up to his room. I need to know if he's okay. It's not like Jah to be away from people for that long.
I knock on his door, and all I hear is snoring. I chuckle softly, and quietly open his door.
I see him sprawled across the bed, fast asleep. Something looks different on him. I get. But closer, sitting in the side of the bed, and find he's shaved his eyebrows off.
He doesn't look bad, it's just weird to see. One of them things you don't realise is there untill it's gone, ya know?
I gently cup his cheek in mt hand, and stroke his face with my thumb. He looks so peaceful as he sleeps, and I almost don't wanna wake him up, but I need it know why he shaved then off.
'Jah?' I whisper. 'Jahseh?'i
'Mmhhhmm?' He mumbles, barely awake
I smile 'Jah, wake yo sleepy ass up. We need to talk' I laugh
He groans and rolls over dramatically, and I notice something on his arm. Before I can say anything about it, he pulls the covers over him.
'Jahseh Dwayne Ricardo Onfroy, wake up before I get to mama to beat yo ass out of this damn bed' I pull him gently.
'Finneee' he sighs. He sits up and quickly puts a jumper on. I don't know how she's not insanely hot, it's like 90 degrees in Florida right now.
'Right, first off, what happened to yo face?'
'Oh I uh... shaved ma eyebrows off. I'm trying to prove that society has made a sociallly acceptable image of what someone should look like, and will bully niggas that don't look like that image. Eyebrows are apart of the image apparently.' He carefully explains.
U don't fully know what he means, but if Jah says something without talking hood, yu know he's on to somehting.
'Ok. Well, jsut so ya know, I think yo perfect either way. I don't matter what people think about what yo look like, as long as you love you, that's all you need.' I tell him.
'Yeah well... I'm not so sure I like my look lately. Even before the eyebrows.'
'What ya mean?' I gently hold his arm, and I see a slight flinch of pain flash across his face
'I mean, I feel almost... inferior. I feel ugly and gross. And so I chose the eyebrows to change, so I can make myself more ugly. Go big or go home I guess. But I'm not fucking happy anymore Kali..' his voice breaks very slightly at the end.
'Is it... is it me?'
He vigorously shakes his head 'fuck no. You the only shred of happiness in my life right now. I just can't deal with my mind anymore. I'm fighting demons, my minds is attacking me. Shawty, I jsut wanna give up.'
My eyes widen. How could he be saying this? Suddenly, everything clicks. The hiding away in his room, the hoodies in near 100 degree weather, and whatever I saw on his arm. Fuck sake Jah.
'Show me your arm.'
'W-what? No' he looks nervous.
'Jahseh , don't yo dare try and hide this type shit from me. You know I, of all people, know how it feels to go through this alone. So show me your arms' I practically demand.
He reluctantly pulls up his sleeves, and I see exactly what I expected. There's a lot more that I thought, literally all up his arms, wrist to forearm.
'Oh Jah...' I whisper, gently holding his hand, examining his cuts.
'I'm ugly. I know I am. So I may as well embrace it.' He says blankly.
'No. Fuck no Jah. Don't yo dare say that. You... you are one of the most eye catching niggas I've ever met. From the second I saw yo on dat bus, I knew how incredibly gorgeous yo are. Most niggas would kill to look like yo' I tell him sternly.
'What do you think about this tho?' He says, referring to the cuts.
'I'm definitely sad. I had no idea it was this bad. You should have came and talked to me. I would have sorted it out immediately. You don't have to go through this alone. But know, I will ALWAYS love your flaws and yo sins. You don't have to hide yourself wit me.
'Yo mean it?' He asks
'If course. You're my everything. But it's killing me never seeing you again anymore. So you know what we finna do? We finna get over ourselves and spend all day together. We can't keep going on like dis. Okay?'
'Okay...' he says, not entirely sure about the plan. But he nods and agrees anyway.
And wit dat, I pull him into a hug, and we sit like that for a while. Then, he leans back and pulls me wit me, so I'm sitting on him.
I look him directly in the eye and I know what about happen...
A/N: okay y'all so what ya think Jahseh gone do tah Kali?
Kinda obvious, but yeah.
If you have figured it out, y'all horny bitches finna live next chapter.
Anyway, yeah, still not sure where dis goin jsut kinda winging it chapter by chapter.
Anyway VOTE!!!!!!
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