When the stars align

Silent longing

Sitting in my room.The silence which I used to love clung to my chest like a weight I couldn't escape my fingers twisted nervously on my laps.

"Just a meeting" "you don't have to say yes right away" Those words echoes in my mind it didn't feel like a meeting I could see it in my mom's eye. the hope, the expectations, her soft smile was filled with dream that weren't mine, Yet I feel beyond to them

As I walked out of my room
There my eyes caught the sitting figure on the couch with an air of authority that graded on my nerves "He will take care of you and will do anything for your happiness." Really! how come he is so sure about it. my happiness isn't a peace to fit into a perfect person

As I entered the living room area grabbing everyone's attention. my parents smiled at my side encouraging me. my aunt walked towards me and put her hand on my head "you are looking beautiful. they surely gonna accept you" I nodded my head not even giving her a single stare.

My mom said "You sit inside, they gonna reach at anytime." my heart rate quickens. No one is here. pihu is on trip and no one shared the thing with her. The only person I feels comfort with I told him everything, Taehyung, I just poured my heart out but didn't worked. it still feels heavy.

I sat in my room, hearing the noise coming from outside. They are here. I felt my body shaking, my hands became sweaty.

My mom called me outside as I walked out nervously, my hands holding the tray. I walked and passed the tea, my nerves flared as I saw the man across the table. sitting there politely with a soft smile on his face.

The Family introduced the boy to me and me to the boy.

As the question answer ceremony started I noticed how confident yet calm this guy is. not just calm but everything a girl want in a guy. The kind of person anyone would say I was lucky to meet.
But that's the problem here.

His name was Akash, he was everything my family would approve of. he works in finance, came from well family and was - by all accounts. no matter how many times I remind myself I couldn't shake off the overwhelming sense of dread tightening in my chest. and with cherry on top my parents send me with him..

" So, San, your family tells me you are in PhD." he said his voice smooth, but there was a calculated undertone. I could tell he's trying to keep the conversation light, easy words. like we are performing roles we hadn't asked for.

"yeah, It's my second year" I nodded forcing a polite smile.

He smiled back nodded as if he understood "that's great" his voice soft, as soft as it can be.

I wanted to scream, it wasn't his fault. he was trying, being everything he was supposed to be. but I couldn't shake off the feeling that this is wrong it felt like I am trapped in a room with no doors.

The conversation drifted from small talks about work to more personal subjects. but I wasn't really present. my mind wandered back to taehyung.
Had he ever noticed my messages.

"San" Akash snapped me out of my thoughts pulling me back to the present.

"hmm?" I blinked realizing I zoned out his polite smile faltered for a second but quickly recovered.

I was asking if you like traveling, I love traveling as my job too gets several transfers at various places. " he said his tone patient, but I could see he have noticed my distraction.

" Travel? oh, yes, I do "My words felt empty a default response. The truth - I don't even know if I like traveling or not.

He chucked lightly" well if we end up together, I would like to travel your favorite spots. "

There it was again _the assumption, the gentle nudge toward something more, we aren't even done with the meeting and he already is speaking as if we had a future together. My stomach twisted in knots and for a brief moment. I wanted to tell him everything. that this wasn't what I wanted, that my mind was elsewhere, my heart already half-belonging to someone else.

But I didn't say anything instead, I nodded and smiled letting the conversation drift along as through I wasn't drowning inside.

---------------------------------------------------------
The afternoon dragged on longer than it should have. by the time, we said our polite goodbyes and parted away I felt like I just had ran a marathon the weight of the encounter stayed with me pulling at every through. as I walked in my room again throwing my cloth away from my body and change into comfy one and laid on my bed.

Taehyung's pov

I had just gotten back from practice. sweat still clinging to my skin. I took a quick bath and laid on my bed tiredness in gulped my body as I felt myself drifting into sleep, but my mind suddenly went on San it's been week or more now, no message I moved my hand just to clear the sudden question 'what if she did today' and open the chat box.

For a second I just stared at the screen. there is, there is a message. a smile came on my lips. as I felt my heart did the weird flip in my chest and I started to read the message.

"I'm sorry, I have in quiet lately. Tae, my parents introduce me to someone. it's serious this time, they want me to meet him. I don't know what to do, Tae. I feels so trapped. I know they mean well, but... it feels like everything is slipping out of my control. Pihu is not here. I am just I just can't decline to the meeting. I feel like I owe them. what should I do? "

The smile drop as I felt my heart filled with sudden weight, sudden pressure that I can't express,The tension in her words, the weight of something unsaid. I had been wondering if she was alright but seeing her message now I can say, she isn't.

I had just finished reading the message and was about close the chat when another one popped up.

" he was good not perfect but then I never wanted perfection. there is beauty in flaws. but after all he was good enough to spend a lifetime with but he wasn't who I truly long for. we talked about personal matter and stuffs. while he opened up I found myself feeling suffocated by it all.
Tae, I am feeling trapped under their expectation placed on me and it's suffocating, everyone around me seems to have this image, which isn't me. I have my dreams, my wishes. the wish to be with you. I have always dream of quiet life with you, our childrens, our family closed by and nothing more. but it feels like I am being pushed into something that isn't my choice. I don't want to spend my life with anyone else not even as a possibility. You are the one my heart has chosen, with whom I have seen my future with. but now that I am forced to marry someone else . it won't just hurt my heart but kill my soul too. If I have to.... I will. but I don't know if I did truly recover from this. the weight is too much for me to bear alone. "

Taehyung sat there staring at the message, his hurt heavy with mixture of sorrow and helplessness, as he readed every line he could feel the weight of the words sinking deeper into him. he was as if he could feel her pain, her longing, her desire for something simpler, something real.

Finger Hovering over the screen but he couldn't type his mind was flooded with thought questions and emotions.

he sniffed, without realising it, a tear escape the corner of his eyes sliding down his cheek. he hadn't even noticed it forming. it was quiet tear, born out of the deep ache of understanding her words and the powerlessness to erase her sorrow.
_______________________________________---------------------------------------------------------
Vote guys and comment if you liked.