"Are you tired, Xian?" asked Lan Wangji as his hand continued to draw on the canvas.
Zhan let out a smile. "I'm just sitting here, Wangji. Why should I be tired?"
Lan Wangji smiled back. "You have an American accent, do you know that?"
"Because for many years I-" He stopped in midsentence.
"How many years of what?" Lan Wangji asked casually while continuing to work. Zhan shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't realize you were already working on my portrait," he said, changing the subject.
"I secretly started to paint you from my memory during nighttime... I like that mood... Yes. That's how it is. You look so beautiful, Xian, especially when you smile like that." Wangji said huskily. For a moment Zhan saw the desire in his eyes before he focused back on the canvas.
Zhan stayed put and went along with what Wangji wanted. Then he asked, "So, where are you from, Wangji? How about your parents? Why do you have to rent here at home?"
"Stay still, Xian," Lan Wangji scolded and drew him seriously. "There..." Wangji straightened up and flashed a smile. He set the brush down on the easel and took a step closer to him.
"Now, to answer your question- my parents are both from Luoyang, Henan.
"My family is from Luoyang, Henan, Xian," he continued. "My father sent me here in Beijing to study. And I really want to take you back there one day." Wangji's eyes lit up as he looked at him. "I want to show you how beautiful the island is. It's truly one of a kind."
"I also want to see the place you're talking about, Wangji," Zhan whispered breathlessly. Wangji leaned closer, resting his arms on the chair's armrest where Zhan was sitting. Zhan couldn't help but wonder why he craved a kiss from Wangji so much. And why did he spend many nights thinking about Lan Wangji? Why did he long for Wangji to come home from the university he was attending?
"And there is a small island near our place, Xia." Wangji's breath was caressing Zhan's cheek. Zhan held back the desire to pull Wangji's neck to bring his lips to him. "I dream of making that island mine. Bring there the one who will be the mate of my heart..."
Zhan closed his eyes when he felt Lan Wangji's lips murmuring against him. "And it's you, my love... it's you. I love you so much Xian...."
Zhan closed his eyes and felt a deep longing to be cherished by Lan Wangji, wishing for those kisses to take him all the way. But he wasn't Wuxian...
He was Sean Zhan. And he didn't belong to his timeline. He has his own timeline. Although he had no desire to leave this timeline now, he wished he could prolong the moments they shared.
"I love you, Lan Wangji..." Zhan sobbed as he expressed his feelings.
He wasn't quite sure why he expressed his love mixed with sadness and he couldn't tell if it was Wuxian or Zhan who had voiced those thoughts.
"I love you, too, Sweetheart. I know you knew that the first day I saw you here on the balcony when your father introduced me to you..."
"I have no right to love you..." Zhan whispered.
"But, you are already in love with me." Wangji was softly nibbling his lower lip. "You can't fight it, my love."
"I-I am engaged to be married, Wangji," he stammered, feeling a bit bewildered.
"You are not engaged, Zhan!" his mind protested. " It's Wuxian who's meant to tie the knot, not you."
"But he is me at this timeline. Oh, God! What on earth am I supposed to do?"
"It's me whom you love and not him!" Lan Wangji answered firmly.
Just as he was about to respond, Wen Qing dashed out onto the balcony. "Get up and pull yourself together, Wuxian! Wangyin is here. I saw his car arrive." She shot a disapproving glance at Lan Wangji and gave Zhan a quick warning before turning back.
"You love me, Xian, and I love you too. Please don't make us both suffer..." Lan Wangji said, his voice almost pleading. Zhan got up, looking bewildered. He was struggling to handle the situation. It felt like he was living two different lives. "L-let's discuss this later, okay? Please..."
Lan Wangji took a long time to answer. Then he nodded. "Alright, my love. We can discuss it again later."
"T-thank you." After saying that, Zhan quickly dashed into the house and headed straight to his room.
Lan Wangji got up and walked over to the canvas, gazing at the face of the person who first made his heart race. A wave of uncertainty washed over him. He glanced up at the sky and inhaled deeply. In the background, he could hear Wen Qing cheerfully greeting the new guest.
He did not wait for Wuxian to come out and hear his warm greetings to his fiance. Instead, he headed down the big balcony steps to the backyard and made his way to his room in the basement.
Zhan was in the middle of getting ready when Nana Shuyi walked into his room.
"I want to talk to you, Wuxian..."
"Is this going to take a while?" he asked, smiling. "Wangyin's waiting outside..."
"I know. I saw Wen Qing greet him." The old woman took a deep breath. "I know I'm just your nanny and caretaker of this house, Wuxian. But in my heart, you're like my own son..."
Zhan raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why are you talking like that?"
"Because I'm nervous about what you're doing," she said looking directly at him. Do you really think you can hide your feelings for Lan Wangji from me?"
"Oh."
The old woman let out an understanding sigh. "I cannot blame you, son. Lan Wangji is a handsome and very nice man. But remember, you're about to get married..."
Zhan stays quiet. What can he even say? And if his feelings for Lan Wangji are the basis, then there's definitely some truth in what Nana Shuyi is saying.
"And we don't know Lan Wangji except that he was your father's student. Wangyin is your childhood friend, I hope you will not be blinded, Wuxian."
He looked up. "W-what if I told you I'm in love with Lan Wangji?"
"Oh my goodness!" the old lady gasped. "Don't say that. It will embarrass Wangyin...his parents, your father... !"
"I know, Nana...but that's honestly how I feel," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.
"I don't believe you truly love Lan Wangji," the old woman firmly denied. "You only admire him because he is handsome... You're simply infatuated with his looks. It's his charisma and his playful nature that you find appealing, along with the strong presence he has."
Absolutely. Lan Wangji had all those qualities. But he didn't voice out not to prolong their conversation instead he said.
"I-I'm going out, Nana..."
"Wuxian," called the old woman. "Don't let Lan Wangji mess with your mind. Jiang Wangyin is the one for you."
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