𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 (𝟏)

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟓𝟐

I was so unbelievably fucked.

So fucked, as I watched her fiddle with her untouched food and smile and nod enthusiastically at something Tiana had told her. I followed the tip of her nose down the the curve of her jaw, and then down to the silky strands of her waved hair thrown over her shoulder.

She had my eyes pinned on her, studying and watching carefully at every slimmer of movement she made. She had my insides twisting and turning and my chest squeezing tighter and tighter as I focused on her smiling lips.

Because I knew her smile, I felt how deep of an effect it had on me every-time she smiled.

Because when she smiled at me and looked at me with those big, gorgeous blue eyes with soft compassion, I felt like my insides were crumbling and a volcano was erupting in my body.

And I felt like such a fuckup. I felt like I couldn't do anything right, like I was slowly, inch by inch, fucking everything up in my life—I was fucking up with her. I wasn't doing what she needed me to do, I couldn't tell her what she wanted me to tell her—I am such a fuckup.

"Dude, are you going to stare at her all day?" Kai groans, rolling his eyes and pressing his cheek into his palm. "It's boring to watch you-watch her."

"Whilst I'm happy for you both," He pauses and waves a hand towards me and her direction. "I can't stand this. It's unhealthy."

"Kai, shut up— When you find someone you adore as much as he adores Isadora, you'll understand where he's coming from." Celina snickers, twirling her spaghetti around her fork before locking eyes with me. "I so love being able to be the kind of dick you were back then.."

I roll my eyes, feeling a swell of annoyance in my chest. "Fuck off.." I grumble, purposely avoiding the undercooked noodles I refused to get use to.

"Aw, why the long face? You not spend enough time with her today, or something?" Celina teases, Grinning like a lunatic would.

I pluck my silver butterknife into my hand and point at her. "Do you feel like dying? Are you depressed and lonely again or do you want to just piss me off?" I snap, waving the knife helplessly in the air. "I don't have a problem with murder, remember?"

She yelps into chaotic laughter, it's loud and annoying to my ears. The pitch of her voice echoing off the walls of my mind, tauntingly. "I always feel like dying, Rowan. I don't have a problemo with death, remember?" She shoots back, smiling evilly.

"Get help."

She laughs again, it's hollow and pitchy this time. "I'll consider it—someday. But for now, I want to help you fix that frown on your face, because quite frankly, It makes you look ugly and hideous."

"Ugly and Hideous are the same thing?" Lauren quips, cocking a curious brow with the most bland expression on her face. Her pale skin contrasts her platinum blonde hair, and her blue eyes look empty and soulless.