Alright folks, let us play a little game.
It is simple: I give you a quote,
and you tell me—
Is it the Bible, or some evil bastard
you wish had never been born?
No cheating. Ready? Go.
"Take their women as spoils,
and enjoy what your right hand possesses."
Hmm, what is your guess?
Genghis Khan? Some warlord with a wicked grin?
Nope—straight from Deuteronomy.
Yup, God's in on the war loot game. Nice.
Okay, next round:
"He who obeys completely is free from sin."
Sounds like North Korea's finest, right?
Some brainwashy nonsense from Kim Jong-un?
Nope. That's the Bible again—Romans.
Submit, bend, obey—or else.
Who needs dictators when scripture says the same thing?
Alright, here is one for the hardcore history buffs:
"Kill every man, woman, and child—
do not spare even the cattle."
I bet you are thinking, Must be Hitler.
Nope. Wrong. That is 1 Samuel 15:3.
God's command. Yep, livestock too. Just in case.
How about this beauty:
"We will make you suffer until you believe."
Ah yes, must be the Spanish Inquisition, right?
Some mad monk with a spiky chair in the backroom?
Wrong again—this time it is Mark 16:16.
Believe, or burn. No room for in-betweens.
Okay, one more:
"Happy is the one who dashes your infants against the rocks."
Please, tell me this is the ranting of a lunatic.
Maybe a genocidal king from the deep, dark annals of history?
Nope. Psalm 137:9, folks. Yup. Bible again.
Turns out infanticide can be a spiritual pastime.
Alright, here is a tricky one:
"Women shall learn in silence and submission."
Ah yes, sounds familiar. Taliban? Mullah Omar?
Nope—1 Timothy 2:11-12.
Looks like some ideas never go out of style.
Fun fact: Dictators always love to quote themselves.
God? He loves getting quoted too.
Except His words have got a much bigger fanbase.
You see, here is the kicker:
When tyrants speak, we recoil.
When God says the same thing, we sing hymns about it.
The problem is not that people are evil—
it is that their evil sounds suspiciously like scripture.
So, next time someone tells you the Bible is the Good Book,
you might want to ask:
Good compared to what?
