Inconceivable

FORTY-NINE

The lingering soft sunrays hitting the window glass, struggling to get in while the outside seemed to be calm, just like any other usual day.

Having my eyesight fixed on the glass, I kept on spinning my pen in a slow motion.

I was physically present in the classroom, sitting on the fixed seat while my mind was glued to something else...

It has been three long days..

Three long days since I saw him..

But somehow, I can still feel the sensation of his head, resting on my lap while I kept shaking and shaking him, begging him to wake up.

His body played the role of a puppet doll, completely still and motionless. Just recalling the memories, a slight wave of shivers ran through my head to toe.

Why did he put himself in danger for me?

These past three days, I haven't attended school... I've been tearing up, sitting alone or blaming myself for Yeonjun's condition and even have hurt myself in various ways too.

I even headed in front of his house several times in these three days, but never I dared to knock or call him.

Seems like I don't have the enough courage to go and check on him..

Did I actually expect him to be present in school? For real?..

Well,

That day while I was trying to wake him up, I can still recall  those burning glares of his father.

His father probably doesn't like me.

His father, approached me, who was struggling with the non-moving body in the lap . And then, he said in an indefinable tone at once,

"Human girl, you may leave "

And... That was when I last saw Yeonjun... The pale face of him kept on flashing in front of me as like deja vu.

Finally, my eyes got detached from the windows, landing on the empty seat behind two seats from me.

He used to be sitting in here, usually staring at me or finding various ways to tease me or make me pissed off.

I really used to hate it when he did that but now...

I'm missing it.

Gosh.

Would I get to see him again?

Would I get to hug him again?

Would I get to kiss him again?

And lastly...

Is he alright?

My throat felt dry, dry with a different way as it wasn't because of the lack of water.

The blood circulator lump inside my chest heaved rapidly, making it feel heavier, lotted and painful.

Did I ever imagine that I would be like this one day?

Who knew that I would fall for the person I liked least?

Ever have I guessed it to turn out like this?

Probably not..

Closing my eyes, I  sharply exhaled the bitter air, renewing my lungs with the fresher once.

And then, I got up and headed straight to the library. Gosh, even the library reminds me of him...

Getting in, I found the librarian absent.