it's getting bad again.
there's something else inside me
but it doesn't feel like a feeling or... I don't bloody remember what kind of normal thing that could be since I haven't feel normal in weeks
I just know it's not me, but it's stronger than me and I can't make it stop
You believe me ? you'll always believe me right ?
Tommy
Tommy
Tommy
I'm sorry, that's weird. I must sound bloody insane right now - or maybe I've been for days.
See, I got scared, because my brain kept bringing your name up and for a second I just felt like it was... far. Very far from me. And I couldn't remember
It came back but I don't want to forget you
If I forget Tommy there's nothing left of me
Remember Tommy
*
there is blood on the paper because I punched the wall like a madman
I felt so angry for a minute
I thought something had set a fire inside
not as a metaphor : I really did think there was flames, and I could feel the burn and the heat and
somehow I ended up taking it out on the walls, and the floor, and myself
sorry.
*
I'm so scared. Words aren't strong enough to express what I feel.
I'm scared of the outside because of the Cranks and the WICKED, so I stay inside, but inside there's me, and there's the Flare and, I'm just not safe anymore in my own skin
And I'm alone
And I could have an attack at any second, I can't see them coming, they just do
and then I can't do anything except waiting until it's over
*
Tommy
You need to come back Tommy
I need you to help me
I need you
Just be there
please
please please please please please please
*
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
*
I know I said so many times I didn't want you to come back, but I've lost every ounce of the strength I once had. I don't want it back if it means keeping you away. I just need you here. Then, I can deal.
Please, Tommy. Please.
AN : I'M SO SORRY
YOU ARE READING
six feet under
FanfictionMaze Runner fanfiction here ! For those of you who read Crank Palace, you know Newt finds a notebook and a pen and decides to write about his feelings as the Flare grows within him. Well this fic is what I imagine would be Newt's journal, but ✨make...
