My Winchester

Not Even a Goodbye

If Cas was one second too late we would have all been dead. When I disarmed Preston's threat, Castiel zapped us out of there and into the middle of some forest. A nervous chuckle left my throat as I looked around. The rest of the group began laughing lightly along with me, until my laughter turned into tears.

The emotions swirling in my head made me want to scream and puke and cry all at the same time. My knees were so weak. I could stand up to two people who I thought were murderers breaking into my home, an idiot demon drawing a blade against my skin, and the man that killed my family, but apparently this is when my body decided to cave in. I began falling, a sob coming from my strained throat. I fell into warm arms instead of the ground.

Dean turned me to him and wrapped me in his arms. He brushed the hair out of my face and re-buttoned my shirt. He held me and allowed me to cry. I soaked his shirt and caused myself to look like a mess. All I could think about was that we did it. We killed him. 

And we're still alive.

"Shh, Golds. You're gonna make yourself have a panic attack," Dean cooed softly into my ear. I tried to choke back the sobs, but my stomach decided to lurch instead. I turned away and jumped out of Dean's arms, bile rising in my throat. He gathered my hair out of my face and rubbed my back while emptied my stomach. He then took of his shirt to wipe off my face. 

"Babygirl, look at me," he said lightly, pressing a palm to each side of my face. I stared up into those green eyes. "Breathe with me, okay?" he said, taking my hand and holding it to his chest. He inhaled deeply, and I tried to copy his movements.

When I could breathe normally again, Dean had Cas zap us all home. He took a shower with me and put me to bed, kissing my forehead before I fell asleep.

***

I woke up to the sound of laughter. Loud, cackling, half-drunk laughter. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and swung my feet over the edge of the bed. Glancing around me, I recognized Dean's bedroom. I got out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt before heading down the long hallway of the bunker. I rounded the corner into the kitchen to see my three favorite people sitting at the table. 

I leaned against the doorway for a moment and simply watched them. It seemed that they were celebrating, which took me by surprise. These boys were celebrating avenging my family's deaths. It had been about six months since I had met all of them.

I knew Cas the least out of all of them, but I still considered him part of my new adopted family. He was hilarious sometimes and was the best angel in the garrison. He was always sure to check up on me, to make sure I was okay.

Sammy was the brother I never wanted until I got him. He was miraculous with words and could melt anyone with those puppy dog eyes. He generally cared about me; he was always there when Dean was "too busy" to be. 

And my Winchester. He was oh-so-beautiful with those emerald green eyes. He was gentle and caring and wonderful. He was stubborn and bossy but absolutely wonderful.

"You're all gonna be shitfaced," I say after a few minutes of watching them.

"S'okay, you'll take care of us, mom," Sam said with a floppy smile. 

My eyes widened at the drunken remark, but I smiled anyways. Dean smiled and came over to me then. "Look who decided to join the fun," he commented as he encircled my waist and pressed his lips to my forehead. 

I followed him back to the table and took a seat in his lap.

After a few hours, I ended up a little drunk as well. "We're gonna head off to bed guys. I'll see you tomorrow, Cas," Dean mumbled, his words only slightly slurred. Cas nodded in understanding before he led Sam into the living room.