More Than Friends

Chapter 35: Unspoken Feelings

Devin kept his feelings buried, but as the days passed, it got harder to ignore the quiet ache in his heart. He loved Nicole with everything he had, but the thought of never havin' kids was startin' to weigh on him more than he expected. Every time he looked at her, he told himself it didn't matter, that as long as she was happy, he'd be happy too. But deep down, he wasn't sure how long he could keep that up.

Nicole, on the other hand, seemed completely content with their life. She was focusin' on her career, takin' on new projects, and lovin' the freedom they had to travel, enjoy time together, and not worry about the added responsibility of children. She didn't bring up the topic again, and Devin didn't want to push it, so he stayed silent.

At a Friend's Party

One weekend, Devin and Nicole went to a friend's party. It was a casual get-together, but there were a few couples there with kids, and Devin found himself watchin' them more than he expected. The way they played with their little ones, the laughter, the chaos—it stirred somethin' inside him.

At one point, one of his boys, Jordan, walked over, his baby girl in his arms.

"Yo, man, you ever think 'bout havin' one of these?" Jordan asked, smilin' as his daughter giggled.

Devin chuckled, feelin' a lump in his throat. "Yeah, sometimes."

Jordan grinned, bouncin' his daughter on his knee. "It's wild, bro. I didn't think I'd love it this much, but now that I got her, I can't imagine life without her. You and Nic ever talk 'bout kids?"

Devin hesitated, his smile falterin' for just a second. "Yeah, we talked about it. We not really sure yet, though."

Jordan nodded, noticin' the shift in Devin's tone. "I get that. It's a big decision. But man, I can see you bein' a great dad."

Devin forced a smile, feelin' the weight of those words hit him. "Yeah, thanks, man."

As Jordan walked away, Devin watched him play with his daughter, and the familiar ache returned. He could picture himself with a little one, teachin' them, raisin' them. But at the same time, he knew Nicole wasn't ready—or maybe didn't want it at all. And that thought sat heavy in his chest.

The Tension Builds

Later that night, after they got home from the party, Devin was quieter than usual. Nicole noticed, but she didn't press him on it, assumin' he was just tired from the long day. But Devin's mind was spinnin', replayin' the conversations from earlier, the sight of Jordan with his daughter, and the unspoken feelings he had kept bottled up for so long.

As they got ready for bed, Nicole finally asked, "You okay? You been kinda quiet tonight."

Devin glanced at her, his heart heavin' in his chest. He wanted to tell her, wanted to let her in on what he was feelin', but he didn't want to make her feel guilty. He didn't want her to think she had to give up her own happiness just to make him happy.

"I'm good," Devin said, givin' her a small smile. "Just a lot on my mind."

Nicole nodded, trustin' his answer but still feelin' like there was more he wasn't sayin'. "You sure?"

Devin walked over to her, pullin' her into his arms, kissin' the top of her head. "Yeah, I'm sure. Don't worry 'bout it."

Nicole smiled, leanin' into his embrace. "Okay. Just know, if somethin's botherin' you, you can tell me."

Devin kissed her again, his heart heavy with the words he didn't say. "I know. I love you."

"I love you too," Nicole whispered, wrappin' her arms around him.

As they lay in bed that night, Devin stared at the ceiling, his mind racin'. He wanted kids, he knew that now more than ever, but he wasn't sure how to reconcile that with Nicole's feelings. He didn't want to pressure her, but at the same time, he couldn't deny what he wanted. The silence between them on the subject was startin' to feel like a weight he couldn't shake.

The Silent Sacrifice

Over the next few days, Devin threw himself into makin' sure Nicole was happy. He cooked her favorite meals, planned little dates, and did everything he could to show her how much he loved her. But with every act of love, the weight on his chest grew heavier.

He was startin' to realize that as much as he wanted to make Nicole happy, he couldn't ignore his own desires forever. And the thought of not havin' kids—of never buildin' that family he had always dreamed of—was slowly tearin' him apart inside.

Nicole seemed completely unaware of the storm brewin' inside him, content with the life they had. And as much as Devin loved her, he started to wonder if he could truly be happy without the one thing he had always wanted: a family.

A Moment of Truth

One evenin', as they sat on the couch watchin' TV, Devin found himself starin' at the screen, his mind far away. He glanced over at Nicole, who was completely relaxed, oblivious to the thoughts racin' through his mind.

Finally, Devin couldn't take it anymore.

"Nic," he began, his voice soft but serious.

Nicole turned to him, noticin' the shift in his tone. "Yeah?"

Devin hesitated, his heart poundin'. "I been thinkin' 'bout what we talked about a while back...about kids."

Nicole's expression softened, and she nodded. "Okay...what's on your mind?"

Devin took a deep breath, his heart heavy with the weight of his words. "I know we said we were gonna take our time, figure it out later, but I gotta be honest...I really do want kids, Nic. I been thinkin' 'bout it a lot, and it's somethin' I've always wanted."

Nicole's heart sank at his words, realizin' the depth of his desire. She had known he wanted kids, but she hadn't realized how much it meant to him.

"I don't want you to feel bad," Devin continued quickly. "I don't want you to feel pressured or like you have to change how you feel. I just needed to tell you...I been keepin' it to myself for a while, and it's startin' to eat at me."

Nicole sat there, feelin' torn between her own feelings and Devin's. She loved him, but the idea of havin' kids had never fully settled with her. And now, hearin' how much it meant to him, she didn't know what to say.

"I'm glad you told me," Nicole whispered, her voice shaky. "I just...I don't know if I'm ever gonna want kids, Dev. And I don't want you to have to give up somethin' so important to you because of me."

Devin's heart ached at her words, but he knew this conversation was just the beginnin' of a bigger decision they'd have to face. For now, though, all he could do was hold her and hope they could find a way through it—together.