More Than Friends

Chapter 34: Silent Desires

The days turned into weeks after their conversation about children, and though Nicole and Devin's life continued to feel peaceful and full of love, there was somethin' that lingered beneath the surface for Devin. Deep down, he couldn't shake the feelin' that he really did want kids, but he kept it to himself. He didn't want to push Nicole, didn't want to make her feel like she had to choose between her own happiness and his.

Every time he saw a family out at the park or a baby on TV, that feelin' tugged at his heart a little more. He had always imagined havin' kids one day—buildin' a family, raisin' his children to be strong, confident, and loved. But now, with Nicole bein' unsure, Devin found himself buryin' those dreams, tellin' himself that as long as she was happy, he was okay with whatever they decided.

Still, there were moments when he couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever really be okay without it. The idea of not havin' children left a quiet ache in his chest, but every time that ache showed itself, Devin pushed it back down. Nicole was his priority—her happiness, her peace—and if that meant not havin' kids, then that was what he was gonna do.

A Quiet Morning

One morning, Nicole and Devin sat in the kitchen, drinkin' tea and enjoyin' the quiet of the day. Nicole was goin' over some work stuff on her laptop while Devin was scrollin' through his phone. Everything felt easy between them, but there was an unspoken tension that Devin couldn't quite ignore.

As he sat there, glancin' over at Nicole, he felt the familiar tug of wantin' to bring up the conversation about kids again. But he stopped himself, knowin' she was still on the fence. Devin didn't want to make her feel pressured, so he kept his thoughts to himself.

"You good?" Nicole asked, lookin' up from her laptop and noticin' the distant look on Devin's face.

Devin smiled, noddin'. "Yeah, I'm good. Just thinkin'."

Nicole tilted her head, watchin' him for a moment. "You sure? You seem kinda off."

Devin chuckled softly, reachin' across the table to take her hand. "I'm good, Nic. Just got a lot on my mind."

Nicole smiled, squeezin' his hand. "Well, if you need to talk about anything, I'm here."

Devin nodded, appreciatin' her words, but he still didn't bring it up. He didn't want to put his feelings about kids out there, not when he knew it might make things more complicated between them.

Later That Day

As the day went on, Devin found himself thinkin' more and more about their conversation. He loved Nicole with everything he had, and he didn't want her to feel bad for not wantin' kids. But deep down, he couldn't help but feel like somethin' was missin'—like a part of his future wasn't fully complete.

That evenin', after dinner, they sat on the couch watchin' TV, and a commercial came on showin' a happy family, a couple playin' with their young kids in the yard. Devin watched the screen, his heart tightenin' as he imagined himself and Nicole in that scene—him tossin' a football with their son, Nicole laughin' and chasin' after their daughter.

But as quickly as the thought came, Devin pushed it away. He glanced over at Nicole, who was curled up beside him, unaware of the storm brewin' inside him.

"You okay?" she asked, lookin' up at him.

Devin smiled, leanin' down to kiss her forehead. "Yeah, I'm good."

Nicole smiled, satisfied with his answer, but Devin couldn't shake the feelin' that he was holdin' somethin' back. As much as he wanted to protect her from his own desires, he knew that part of him was startin' to struggle with the idea of not havin' kids.

A Conversation Left Unspoken

Over the next few weeks, Devin found himself doin' everything he could to make Nicole happy. He went out of his way to make sure she didn't feel any pressure about havin' kids, but the truth was, it was gettin' harder for him to hide how much he really wanted it.

One night, as they were gettin' ready for bed, Devin found himself standin' in front of the mirror, starin' at his reflection, wonderin' if he could really go the rest of his life without havin' children. Could he give up that dream just to keep Nicole happy? Could he keep quiet about it and never bring it up again?

As he lay down beside her, Nicole cuddled up next to him, fallin' asleep almost instantly. Devin stared up at the ceiling, his mind racin'. He loved her more than anything, but there was a part of him that was startin' to feel torn. He didn't want her to feel bad for not wantin' kids, but at the same time, he couldn't deny his own desires.

The Silent Struggle

Over time, Devin's silent struggle grew heavier. Every time he saw families out in public, or friends postin' pictures of their kids, that familiar ache hit him again. But he kept it to himself, not wantin' to disrupt the peace he and Nicole had found.

Nicole, on the other hand, seemed perfectly content with their life as it was. She enjoyed their freedom, the fact that they could travel, focus on their careers, and spend time together without the responsibilities that came with kids. And Devin didn't want to take that away from her. So, he kept his feelings locked up, doin' whatever he could to make sure she didn't feel pressured.

But deep down, Devin knew he couldn't bury his desire for a family forever. At some point, he was gonna have to face it—whether that meant bringin' it up with Nicole again or figurin' out if he could truly be happy without kids. For now, though, he stayed quiet, hopin' that his love for Nicole would be enough to make the ache go away.