40K+ word count
Kim Taehyung could handle everything, all the hatred, pain and sufferings to any extend. He didn't mind when some toxic fans sent hate letters to him.
He really didn't care, until..
His own members started to ignore him. They starte...
“HYUNG!” I gasped while sitting up straight while panting heavily, the sweat beads formed on my forehead drenched me. The horror I felt when I saw the scene, yet again infront of my eyes. I couldn't shake the tremor I felt.
I wiped the beads of sweat from my forehead, yet again I knew I couldn't sleep now. This is a daily basis routine now. What can I do? I get these nightmares when I go to bed. I don't want to sleep, but when my body automatically drags me to bed and I sleep, I get the dread feeling in the pit of my stomach.
My gaze fell on the digital clock on the bedside table, 2:00 am. I barely slept for two hours and here I am with the same nightmare. The blood, the horror, the red and blue lights. The thought of it made me shiver.
I decided to get out of bed as I knew my sleep had vanished in couple of hours. I dragged my body down the stairs as I made my way to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle of water as I chugged it down.
I sighed as I wiped the little drop of water which slid down my lips as I placed the bottle back inside. The mansion was dread silent. I was living seperately right now, as per my member's wish.
They hated me, my presence.. especially Maknae. He hated me to the core. What was my mistake in all of this? Is this mess all to be blamed on me? Yet again I can't fully blame them.
They were right though, I am to be blamed for the consequences. My negligence, my lack of awareness of my surroundings risked Jin Hyung's life. He's there on his death bed, trying to fight against life and death.
All because of my recklessness.
Only if I hadn't thrown any tantrum like a foolish child, only if I hadn't insisted to go. Then this would've never happened. They were right, I'm solely to be blamed.
And this dread feeling will haunt me for the rest of my lifetime, if something happens to Jin Hyung.. i won't be able to bear it. I won't be able to take the guilt. I would become a murderer.
Of whom? The person who took care of me like his own? The person who cherished me, fed me, gave in to my tantrums, calmed me down, helped me. How could I be so cruel to let that happen to him? And the doctors saying that there is almost Zero possibility of Hyung waking up just frightens me.
The look on members eyes, the hatred in them... I-i just can't bear it... I can't bear their ignorance, it suffocates me to the core. It knocks out all the air from my lungs.. like.. it feels like my whole body goes numb. My legs giving up.
I just want to curl up on my bed, and never wake up again. Maybe....maybe then everything would be fine...maybe then everyone would be at peace, knowing that the murderer is dead and gone.
But how pathetic I am.. I can't even do that to myself, I don't even have any energy, any hopes, any courage to harm myself. The thought of it brings chills down my spine. Was my hardwork, my whole life for nothing? Was I just born to be a murderer?
I-i just hope, my comfort home, my life, my everything, my one and only hope...Jin Hyung wake up soon. I can't bear to see him attached to those syringes, the white pipe which supplies oxygen to him.. the glucose attached and then his pale and motionless self.
His legs, casted... His forehead, stitched.. arms wounded and bandaged. Blood stains on his dress because of the deep cut on his abdomen.. i just can't see him like that..i-it just isn't him.
The bubbly, cheeky self of Jin Hyung which I know... That isn't him.. I've never seen Jin Hyung this quiet, he always yells at Namjoon Hyung when he breaks things or keeps on doing angry rap when Suga Hyung ignores his commands.
Or the other time he smacked Jungkook's butt when he spilled banana milk on the kitchen counter or pulled Jimin's and my ears because we ruined his garden.
A lone tear escaped as the thought of our happy memories came across my mind, i harshly wiped them away as I realised the current situation I am in.
I looked at the clock yet again and it was 2:30 am. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep as I just wore a black long coat with a muffler, it was Spring time, and dawn spring time is the coldest in Korea.. afterall it was -2°C outside as I then grabbed my car keys and left the mansion after locking it.
I just need a time to calm my thoughts, for the time being... And then later on forever maybe.
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How was the prologue cuties? I hope you like it. Comment down your thoughts about this chapter.
Inspired by two Wattpad stories actually 'is smiling a crime' and 'Behind the Facade' though this isn't the same story.. but Taetae's sufferings is the most.
