𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷

A letter

As Jungkook reads the letter. His heart begins to race with each word registering in his head.

Cha Jiwon's Letter.

For Jeon Jungkook, if you're reading this, then it's likely I'm no longer alive. My health is drastically failing. I won't be able to take Minkook to you on his fifth birthday as I promised him.

Since I can't take him to you, I hope at least I can convince Jimin to bring him back to you, although the chance of that is close to none.

Certain things that I've done and certain words that I've once said scarred him in ways that I don't think I can reach him anymore. His heart is like a rock, anything I said, it doesn't move him. I don't know how everything has gotten this bad. I can only blame myself.

Sitting sick in my bed like this, I can feel, there isn't much time left for me. I can only use this time to reflect on my life. Even if my message never reaches you, I will say what I have to say. At least a fraction of my heart will ease, telling myself I tried, I've confessed my regrets.

At this point, it's been five years, five long years that I witness a poor soul dying each day. His precious smile that outshines the sun is regrettably a mask he puts on to get through each day, and I feel guilty each time I see that smile.

I often ask myself, how did I hurt Jimin this much? I ruined his life, his future that I claimed to have done everything for.

I still remember those days when I first gained consciousness five years ago. I heard him secretly cry every day in the corner of my hospital room. Sometimes, he wasn't crying but tears would run down his face. I couldn't understand. I thought he was delirious. And I despised you each time he cried.

Even after I got out of the hospital, he remained the same, quiet, and lifeless. He rarely spoke, even when I talked to him, it was like he didn't hear me. At one point, I couldn't take it anymore, so I told him to change his behavior and get over it. I didn't think it would lead to a breaking point between him and me.

Following Jiwon's cold statement, "Get over it," the grey colors on Jimin's teary face turns crimson. "Get over it? How?"

Jiwon stares in bewilderment, not thinking his nephew would actually respond. From that simple question, he turns speechless. He stares into his nephew's eyes that holds unspeakable feelings.

"After knowing what you and Uncle Li did, should I pretend nothing happened?"

Despite his composed face, his eyes can't stop glistening. Like his tears that can't hide themselves, words that he has wanted to say finally spills out. "You're crueller than I thought you could ever be. How could you purposely shoot yourself in front of him when you know his father did the same thing?"

So, what if Jiwon's cruel, he doesn't owe anyone remorse. "I did it for you, it was for your own good. I didn't shoot Jungkook. I shot myself." Jiwon speaks calmly as he always does.

Wearily, Jimin shakes his head. "Uncle Li wouldn't let you shoot him. That's why you didn't do it."

That's not wrong. If Jiwon can choose, shooting that kid Jeon would be easier.

"You don't have to hide anymore." Jimin stares disappointedly at Jiwon. "Uncle Li, he doesn't seem to be in his right mind, but you — I really don't know what to think about you."

His heart aches whenever he tries to comprehend the actions of his uncle; it all leads back to him, and it makes him hate his own existence. He was always a weight on his uncle's back, a burden his uncle carried around. However, that doesn't justify his uncle's actions when there are so many other ways for them to survive.