Bungo Stray Dogs Oneshots

Shadows and Light (Dazai x Akutagawa)

Ship: Dazai x Akutagawa

Genre: Fluff - Platonic

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The night was still and quiet, the kind of silence that felt heavier than the darkness itself. Akutagawa stood on the rooftop, his breath clouding the cold air, his sharp eyes scanning the city below. It was a view he's seen countless times, yet tonight, it felt suffocating. Every shadow seemed to press in closer, every gust of wind whispering the same haunting refrain: "Not enough"

He clenched his fist, feeling the familiar weight of his coat hanging around him like a shroud. His ability, Rashoumon, stirred at his command, eager for release. It always responded to his anger, to his frustration. And tonight, those emotions were boiling over.

"You're pushing yourself too hard, Akutagawa."

The voice came from behind, lazy and familiar. Akutagawa's body tensed immediately, but he didn't turn around. He didn't need to. He knew exactly who it was.

"Dazai-san," Akutagawa said coldly, his voice laced with the bitterness he could never quite suppress around his former mentor. "I wasn't expecting your presence."

Dazai stepped forward, his usual smirk playing on his lips as he leaned against the railing beside Akutagawa. "And yet, here I am. "It's almost like you wanted me to show up."

Akutagawa glared at him, his grey eyes burning with something between anger and desperation. "I don't need you anymore."

Dazai's smirk didn't falter, but there was a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. "Is that so?"

Akutagawa's grip on his coat tightened, the fabric shifting as Rashoumon stirred, responding to the storm inside him. He had trained, fought, killed - done everything in his power to become stronger. Strong enough to earn even a fraction of the acknowledgment he craved from Dazai. Yet, no matter what he did, it never seemed to be enough.

"You've improved," Dazai said after a long silence, his voice softer than usual. "Stronger, more ruthless. But..."

"But what?" Akutagawa spat, his voice trembling with barely concealed rage. "I've done everything you taught me, followed every order. What more do you want from me?"

Dazai's gaze shifted, looking out over the city lights below. "It's not about what I want, Akutagawa. It's about what you want."

Akutagaw's breath hitched. He didn't understand. He did know what he wanted - he wanted Dazai's approval, his acknowledgement, the simple confirmation that all the pain and bloodshed meant something. But Dazai was always like this, always speaking in riddles and half-truths, never giving him the satisfaction of a clear answer.

"I want to be strong," Akutagawa muttered, his voice quieter now. "Strong enough to surpass you."

Dazai chuckled, a sound that made Akutagawa's blood boil, but this time it was different. There was no mockery in his tone, only a kind of quiet acceptance. "You think strength is everything, don't you? That power is the only thing that matters."

Akutagawa's hands clenched into fists. "In thus world, it is."

Dazai turned to him, his eyes serious now, the smirking fading. "Is that why you've never won against Atsushi?"

The question hung in the air like a blade. Akutagawa's heart raced, his rage flaring. "The Weretiger-" he growled, but Dazai cut him off.

"You've fought him countless times, but every time you lose. Why do you think that is?"

Akutagawa was trembling now, his fists shaking. "He's not stronger than me."

"Then why?" Dazai pressed, his gaze sharp, cutting through the layers of anger and pride Akutagawa had built around himself.

Akutagawa was silent. He didn't have an answer. Or rather, he had too many, none of which made sense.

Dazai sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's not about strength alone, Akutagawa. Atsushi fights for something more. Something beyond survival."

Akutagawa looked at him, confusion and frustration warring in his chest. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you've been so focused on proving yourself to me, on becoming the strongest, that you've forgotten the reason you fought in the first place."

Akutagawa's breath caught in his throat. "I fight... to survive."

Dazai shook his head. "Survival isn't enough. You need a reason, something that driver you beyond the fear of death. Atsushi fights to protect people, to make sure no one else suffers the way he did. But you... you've been fighting against ghosts."

Akutagawa's eyes widened, his mind racing. The memories of his past, of the slums, the death, the suffering - those were the ghosts that haunted him. And yet, as much as he hated Dazai for leaving him and the Port Mafia, for never giving him the acknowledgement he craved, a part of him knew Dazai was right.

"I..." Akutagawa's voice faltered, his chest tight. "I don't know how to fight for anything else."

Dazai's expression softened, and he placed a hand on Akutagawa's shoulder. "Then find something, Akutagawa. Something worth fighting for. Because if all you do is chase after strength, you'll never surpass me - or anyone."

Akutagawa swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. He hated this. Hated how easily Dazai could see through him, how effortlessly he exposed the cracks in the armor he had s[ent so long building. But beneath the frustration, there was a flicker of something else - something that felt like understanding.

"Why come and tell me this now?" Akutagawa asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the wind.

Dazai smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "Becaue you remind me of myself."

Akutagawa stared at him, the words sinking in. He had always thought of Dazai as unreachable, someone he could never hope to understand, let alone surpass. But in that moment, he saw a glimpse of the man behind his mysterious facade - a man who had walked a path just as dark and uncertain as his own.

"I'll find something," Akutagawa said after a long pause, his voice steady. "Something worth fighting for."

Dazai's smile widened, a rare, genuine warmth in his eyes. "Good. When you do, show me how much you've changed."

And with that, Dazai turned, his coat billowing behind him as he walked away, leaving Akutagawa standing alone on the rooftop. The city stretched out before him, vast and unyielding, but for the first time, Akutagawa didn't feel lost in its shadows.

He had something to strive for now - something more than just survival.

He felt that he could finally catch up to the man who had always been multiple steps ahead of nearly everyone.

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THE END