CALL YOUR MOM | ln4

thirtyfive.

{ jonesy }

This is harder than I thought it was going to be.

We're in the Netherlands for the first race back from break.

Taking photos of the man you're in love with when you're not talking to him is difficult. I'm pretty sure it's obvious that both of us are acting differently. Lando and I usually are attached at the hip, never spending more than 10-15 minutes apart. Today, we've spoken maybe 5 words to each other and I've definitely noticed the stares from the mechanics.

Everyone knew that something had happened. And I'm sure they've all seen the video. I'm also pretty sure the only reason Charlotte isn't tearing into me right now about the video is because Lando probably talked to her about it – or she's noticed that we're not spending time together anymore.

We're smart. We know when we've screwed up.

"Teach me your ways." Lily laughed from my side. "You always seem to find the best angles and lighting."

"Years of practice." I chuckled. Laughter, something I haven't done in a while.

Thankfully, Lily was able to pull it out of me. I needed it.

Ruthie left for Spain not too long after Lando and I decided to "take a break" and I knew she worried about me. She worried so much that she forced me to go stay with my Mum until she came home. It ended up being a much more needed trip than I thought. I was with her for just shy of 2 weeks before returning back to London. I truly enjoyed my time with my mother. It was the longest amount of time we'd spent together in well over a year. Our time together was healing in a way, we watched old home movies, reminisced about both happy and sad memories, and I even got to see my grandparents.

Maybe I should let Ruthie force me to go back to see my Mum more often.

Once Ruthie and I returned to our apartment in London, I had only a few days left before coming here – the Netherlands. Truly, I was excited for the race. The energy just felt like it could be a good one.

Just seeing him, it's hard.

I don't want to ignore him, but for my own sanity, I need to.

"Fan stage, boys!" Charlotte called out from somewhere in the garage.

Lando and Oscar immediately followed the demand, rushing in the direction of the fan stage, not wanting to get fussed at later. I hooked arms with Lily, deciding to follow them to see what content I could get of them interacting with the crowd.

"Jonesy, can I have a moment?" I paused my forward movement with Lily and spun around, seeing Zak behind me.

This could either be very good or very bad.

"Yeah, of course." I turned to the shorter girl next to me, "Go on without me."

She smiled at me before continuing off to watch the boys. I, on the contrary, walked in the other direction and back to where Mclaren's CEO was standing.

"Hey." I softly smiled, stopping by his side.

His usually happy face dropped into a somewhat sad one. "Everything okay?"

Oh.

He was concerned.

At least I'm not getting fired.

"I mean, yeah–"

"Don't lie to me." Shit. Of course, he saw right through my lies.

I sighed, looking down at my hands. "Did you see the video?" He hummed in confirmation. "I just... neither of us remembers that happening. I didn't want anything like that to happen. There were so many hate comments and death threats after it that I told Lando that we needed to take a break... from everything. Including being friends."