Do You Even Care? / STYLE SOUTHPARK

☆Chapter 11☆

...Kyle's POV...

I decide to head home. I begin to walk. The cold wind whips around my face and stings my cheeks while tears sting my eyes.

When I get home my feet hurt terribly. I flop down onto my bed with a loud sigh. I've managed to stop crying, finally. Instead, I now have a headache. Rubbing my temples, I turn to my side and grab my blanket as I slowly start to feel my heavy eyelids close.

...

When I wake up it's to the sun piercing through my not fully shut curtains. I let out a heavy groan. Today is gonna suck, I just feel it. Slowly, I sit up in my bed, my hair a wreck and my throat dry. God damn, I need some water.

I start to remember last night and I feel the effect deeply on my soul. I'm still too groggy to really think about it though. I crack my neck and knuckles before I finally get up. Wow... I hate mornings. 

I wander into my bathroom, brush my teeth, and then move my hair around. I try to fix my hair, spraying it with water and curling certain pieces with my finger, but I quickly give up. Shower it is. The wonders of curly hair

In the shower, I feel the hot water run down my bare skin. Showers can be soothing. The shower is where the thoughts start flowing. Shower thoughts.

I think more about last night and more about Stan. I'm still angry at him. Like pissed. But I don't hate him. Not at all. I can't hate him. I can't hate him because I love him. Part of me thinks that I will always love him. Part of me thinks that I have always loved him, even if I didn't know it always.

Then it hits me that I am really in love. It's scary. Love is a big word, but I know it's the right one. Anything smaller wouldn't be enough to describe my affection for him. Still, the voice in my head says 'love' hesitantly and gently; Like the world might shatter if I think it with too much emphasis.

I wash my hair and start to scrub my body when suddenly the lights flick off and the shower water stops too. Seriously? A power outage? Right now?

I stumble out of the shower and crack the door because it's pitch black in here because there is no windows in our bathroom. I wrap a towel around myself. I can hear my parents rustling around down stairs, and Ike too. With my towel, I dry the soap off myself and then I change into some clothes.

"Kyle!" I hear my mom shout.

"Coming!" I shout back. "What the hell does she want..." I grumble to myself.

Carefully, I walk down the stairs into the dim living room that's lit only by window light. When my mom spots me she gestures to my dad who's putting his boots on, "Go help your dad figure out why the power went out."

...

It was an issue with our breaker. We called someone to come fix it. She said it could be all day, that she'd text me when the power is back. She suggested that I should go to Stan's while we wait for power. I don't want to so now I'm wandering. The spring sun is shining today, luckily. What the hell am I supposed to do all day? I start by putting an earbuds in and turning on some music.

I send Kenny a text and sit on the side of the road for a while waiting for him to reply. He doesn't. He's probably hungover from last night. I keep sitting here on the edge of the road. I look up at the sky. The clouds look pretty today. Big and fluffy.

While I cloud gaze my thoughts wander. I'm back to thinking about last night. I'm running the night's events through my head. Making eye contact with him across the crowded dance floor. Him finding me upstairs. Fighting in the driveway and on the street. Throwing my soda can at his feet in anger. I feel bad for that. It was maybe an overreaction but it did get a point across.

I hear cars drive past and I think about getting up and walking to town but I'm too lazy to walk all that way especially cause I no money to buy anything. So I let my mind wander again. And naturally it wanders back to Stan after a short while of thinking about dinosaurs (cause the fuck did they actually exist?). I fight the urge to text him. It has been absolutely killing me, not talking to him and all. Not getting to stare into his blue eyes as he rambles about whatever; It was one of my favorite parts of the day before we stopped talking. Something that made the day just a little better.

It bothers me that us not talking has affected my every day routine so much. I saw a Netflix show and my first thought was damn, I need to show this to Stan. When I was a funny TikTok, my first through was send it to Stan, he'll love it. Oh and don't get me started on how good he looked last night. The tank top he was wearing showed off his star football player body. As angry as I was I couldn't deny how hot he looked. It definitely didn't help me stop thinking about him, seeing him looking like that.

As more cars zoomed by I suddenly realized that laying on the side of the road was truly dumb. So I hopped up and began to walk again. Since Kenny still hasn't replied I decide to walk to his house. We all split after the party last night so hopefully he actually went back to his house.

I continue walking to where Kenny lives and I knock on his door. His brother, Kevin opens it. "He's in his room," he says in greeting, allowing me to enter. I walk to Kenny's door and knock before entering. He doesn't say anything in response. I open his door— under the assumption that he's asleep— to Kenny cuddling a sleeping Butters, his eyes wide and face bright red.