Do You Even Care? / STYLE SOUTHPARK

☆Chapter 12 ☆

...Rewind...

...The Party...

...Kenny's POV...

Kyle, Eric, Butters, and I all arrive at the party together. The music is blaring and the lights are dim. The smell of sweaty teenage boys and cheap perfume is pungent in the air. At first, we all stick together but Cartman disappears to harass some girls and Kyle disappears after acting weird for a while. It's just Butters and I. Our eyes stare into eachother, he looks scared. Parties aren't his thing, they never have been. Grateful for the dim light, I grab his hand silently, as a way to comfort him.

He squeezes my hand tight, and we stand there in the chaos for a while. Then suddenly I feel his hand release mine. "I'm gonna get a drink," he loudly whispers into my ear. I just nod in response.

I stand there alone, wondering what Butters is gonna get considering he doesn't usually drink. I usually do enough drinking for both of us. I think about getting a drink but I decide to wait for Butters to come back. So I embrace the music, swaying a bit and just tryna enjoy myself.

I do that for a good while when I start to worry about Leo. He definitely should have been back by now...

Suddenly a hand grabs my shoulder and I practically jump out of my skin as I turn to see who it is. "Hey," a blonde girl smiles at me.

"Oh, hey," I reply, glancing around, still looking for Butters.

The girl is undeniably beautiful, her hair is pulled into two braids and she's about three inches shorter than me. I assume she attends a different school 'cause I don't recognize her from our school.

"My name is Ivanna," she says, hand still on my shoulder. She looks at me expectantly.

"Oh, uh I'm Kenny," I say, subtly shrugging her hand off my shoulder.

She smiles at me, and her eyes look into mine in a way that tells me what she's interested in. She hums, "So are you from around her?"

I nod, "Yeah, I go to school over at SPHS, you?"

"I'm a town over, I got invited by a friend of a friend," she says, slowly getting closer to me, her fingers brushing against mine. "So, Kenny, do you wanna dance?"

I feel her grab my hand, her body already slightly turned to the makeshift dance floor. I feel my face flush slightly. "Uh. I'm... taken, I can't," I tell her, pulling at my hand.

"Well is she her? She doesn't have to know," she smiles coyly, holding on tightly to my hand. "I know you like me," she turns to face me fully.

Something about her assuming that it's a she makes me freeze. 'Cause she doesn't know me I decide to not pretend he is a she. "He is here and please let go of my hand."

Her face shifted into something that I couldn't quite decipher before it disappeared. She pulled her hand back and nodded, stepping away.

Naturally, left alone I begin to worry about Butters again. So I wander around a bit, trying to spot him. Eventually, I wander into the kitchen and I find him leaning up against the counter looking fucked up. "Holy shit, Leo, Are you ok?" I ask.

"Uhhh, shit. Yeah, I think so," he stutters.

I shake my head, "No you're not." He nods, looking a little defeated. His eyes start to water as he looks at me. "Let's get out of here," I grab his hand and I lead him to the back door. Outside the cool air makes a lovely contrast to the temperature inside.

"What happened?" I ask him as we start to walk around the side of the house. I notice that he walks slower than usual.

"I was getting a drink, and I was talking to this real nice guy, and we were just talking when I was gonna go find you and I think someone put something in my drink when I wasn't paying attention cause I've drunk a bit before and it was not like this and I didn't even have that much—" he spills out, then suddenly pauses. He leans over, hands on his knees "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Wait, for real? Shit," I blurt out, shocked and unsure what to do. He predicted it, my stomach twists as I watch him suddenly retch and then vomit all over the grass. I watch to make sure he's done first and then, I gently pat his back.

"Let's go back to mine," I whisper into his ear, softly.

Slowly, he stands up. "Yeah, let's," he mumbles. We start walking again, he wipes around his mouth with the cuffs of his jacket.

"You can have one of my sweaters to sleep in when we get to mine," I tell him. We don't have a washing machine or I'd offer to clean his jacket. We always go to the laundry mat, I guess the two of us could make a visit in the morning.

"Thanks, Kenn," he half-smiles.

...

In my room, I toss Leo a sweater. It's dark blue and I don't wear it often but it is pretty comfy. He takes his shirt off and I avert my eyes, for some reason, it feels wrong to look. I'm not sure, it's not like I've never seen him shirtless before, I mean we grew up together. So I look up and I can't help but grin. He makes eye contact with me and grins too before pulling the sweater on.

I sit on my bed (which is a mattress on the floor). "This sweater is really nice," Leo says as as sits next to me and rests his head on my shoulder.

After a while, we decide to lie down and we both crawl under my blanket and scooch close. With his back against me, I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head in the crook of his neck. I plant gentle kisses on his neck. He hums slightly in response.

"I've been thinking about coming out... to my family, to our friends," He confesses.

"Really?" I smile. I wasn't expecting that at all. "I would start small, personally," I say.

We lay in the silence some more. I kiss his cheek softly and give him a small squeeze. After that, I slowly fall into a calm sleep.

...

I open my eyes in the early morning and the spring sun is shining in through my window. My arms are still around Butters but now his face is hurried in my chest and his hair is a mess.

On mornings after parties, I'm used to waking up hungover and alone so it's a nice change to wake up with somebody and wake up feeling good too.

Then I hear a knock on my door and I feel my heart nearly stop in my chest. I should probably yell at whoever it is to not come in but my voice gets caught in my throat. The door swings open and Kyle stands in the door, looking shocked.

"Hey, Dude," I mumble, slowly sitting up, careful not to wake Butters. He stays asleep. I sigh, "Let's step outside."

Kyle nods and I stand up and we both walk out to my front porch. It's then that I realize this is about to effectively be my coming out to Kyle. "So..." I start and then stop because I dont know where to go with my words.

"Are you and Butters—?"

I butt in before he can finish his question "Together? Yeah." I feel a slight nervous lump in my throat. Kyle nods. "We have been for... uhh... six months now," I tell him.

Kyle smiles but he looks like he's searching for something to say. He pushes his hands into his pockets. "Why didn't you tell any of us?" he asks.

"It isn't about me. Leo isn't ready for that yet, and his family isn't the most supportive," I explain.

Kyle grins at me teasingly, "Leo, huh?" I realize he's never heard me call Butters that before.

"Oh shut the hell up, Kyle."

(this is a very long chapter already and I had even more planned for it so I guess I'm splitting it into two chapters! Love y'all!)