Do You Even Care? / STYLE SOUTHPARK

☆Chapter 13 ☆

TW: homophobia

...Butters POV...

The three of us (Kyle, Kenny, and I) hang out for a while. I guess the power is out at Kyle's house and his mom told him to go find something to do until the power came back on.

Eventually I figure I need to go home, my dad would have wanted me home hours ago. I wave goodbye as I start down the road back to my house.

As I come up on my driveway my lips pull into a smile, noticing that my dad's car isn't in the driveway. I've been thinking about coming out to him. I mean seeing as I've been to conversion therapy before, clearly it wasn't great the last time; But I really think he's changed, maybe he's become for open minded. Maybe now would be a good time to go about deciding to do that. I set my phone on the couch as I go upstairs.

I guess there's a lot of ways to tell him. I contemplate writting a note. I imagine what it would say. But I know what he would say, he'd tell me to man up. Maybe it would be best to just talk to him. How would I even go about doing that though?

I grab and open my laptop. On YouTube there is hundreds of videos on coming out. Some that look like they'll be full of genuine advice and some that look like they'll be more comedic than anything. I watch a few of the funny ones. Then a sincere one. It makes my hands a little shaky but I decide how I'm going to go about it. I'm just going to be completely honest. But still I think I need to hear myself say it.

Hands still shaking, I set my stuffed animals up in a row. They'll be my audience for now. I guess it's about time I told them anyways, they only sleep next to me on my bed every night. No matter what anyone thinks, they'll stay on my bed forever. Though when Kenny comes over I insist we toss a blanket over then, he thinks it's funny. Its not like we've ever gone all the way but still I'd rather then not witness it when we do.

"Hey guys," I murmur. " I have something important to tell you," I continue. I wait a moment, leaving room for their responses. They're all sweet in their replies. With a sharp breath I try to swallow my anxiety.

"I'm Gay," I blurt. For some time, I stand in the silence. It's underwhelming, the lack of response. I let out a heavy sigh. Why is this so hard? Not just coming out but being gay in general. Downstairs I hear the front door open and shut. Dad must be home.

Maybe I need to make a plan. The videos said to make a "worse case scenario" plan. If I get kicked out... where would I go? Wow... I really hate to think about that. It's one to thing to hear about it happening and another thing to realize it could be a reality.

To avoid thinking about that, I decide to get into some more comfortable clothes. Hello Kitty Pj pants and a light blue T-shirt. As I pull the shirt over my head my dad screams, "BUTTERS!" I feel my blood run cold. Shit. I don't know what he's screaming about but I know it isn't good.

"One sec!" I shout back, voice shaking a bit. My feet carry me out of my room and down the stairs but the whole time I feel like a dead man walking. It's when I find him holding my phone that I know why he was screaming.

"What the hell is this?" He asks me.

I can't even look him in the eyes. My eyes don't even dare dart up to see what he has opened on my phone. I'm sure it's messages between me and Kenny. Just to make sure, I do glance up and that's exactly what it is. "It's texts between me and my boyfriend," I tell him truthfully. A lie could only make this worse.

He laughs. Laughs. More laughs. "Get out," he says. I look up at him, shock filling me. I guess I just expected another go at conversion therapy. "Clearly you can't be fixed so get out of my fucking house," he hisses at me.

Tears well up into my eyes and I don't even try to hide it; not the way I normally would. Sobs wrack my body as I pack a backpack full of clothes well he shouts, saying that I can forget about my phone and laptop, seeing as he pays for those things. He says I'm lucky to keep my clothes. My bag is stuffed as he rushes my out the door. He did say that I could come back once I "stop this bullshit," though. That won't be any time soon.

So I stumble around a bit before it really hits me. What the hell do I do now? Where do I go?

Back to the main plot next chapter I promise!!!