Do You Even Care? / STYLE SOUTHPARK

☆ Chapter 17 ☆

...Stan's POV...

I sit there trying to breathe with my heart in my throat. Kyle places his hand on top of mine, I squeeze the counter edge a little harder.

He lifts his head from under mine, his loose curls momentarily brushing against my face. He looks at me, eyebrows slightly knitted together, eyes questioning. Can he hear my heart beating in my throat? Can he see my flushed cheeks? I try not to let myself show any more signs but my mind is racing and now my hands are sweating. I'm starting to panic a little too much, he's got to know something is up.

Just then Kenny opens the door and saves my sorry ass. "Hey guys, sorry about leaving you in here," he grins sheepishly.

"What happened?" Kyle asks. I'm just grateful the attention is off me.

"A teacher came and I had to run so he wouldn't see the stolen keys and also me skipping," Kenny explains.

Kyle sighs, "Well class is almost over now so we might as well just hang out in here for the last little bit."

I nod, "Yeah."

Kenny leans up against the wall across the sink. "Have you guys heard from Butters at all?" He asks, an hint of worry in his voice.

I shake my head, "Why are you worried? He's probably just sick."

Kenny's eyebrows furrow slightly, "I'm not worried. I was just asking."

"Sorry. I didn't realize this was a touchy subject," I mumble, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

Kenny looks like he's about to say a plethora of swear words but Kyle interrupts, "Both of you just knock it off right now. It's too early in the week to be arguing already."

Neither of us say anything to that.

...

The classes fly past after hanging out with Kyle and Kenny in the bathroom. I walk down the road, spring winds gently blowing over my cheeks.

After school I didn't feel like going home so I'm walking to Starks Pond. I don't know what I'll do there but it's better than sitting around the house. Or maybe it's not, this wind is pissing me off.

I get to Starks Pond and sit by the bench closest to the water. I stare ahead at the water, my mind dully thinking about today, about life. And the inevitable thought comes to my head, my dad. Every time I think for too long he is what I start to think about. And I can never stop thinking about him when I start. At times it was easier to not think about it though and I guess that's when beer became a coping mechanism. Not today though, I just think.

I shift around on the hard wooden bench, pulling my legs up so I'm sitting criss-cross on the bench.  A gust of wind blows and I watch as the leaves rustle.

I remember coming here with my Dad when I was little, lots of times actually. Those are some of my favorite memories with him; those are the ones I like to remember.

Most of the time he was a pretty good dad. I wish I had asked him more questions about his life, now my questions are forever answerless. How could I have wasted so much time with him? How can people waste so much time with eachother in general? There isn't a garuntee that you have time with them so why do we take people for granted? It so silly to waste time being afraid or lazy or whatever else. Be with people while you can.

I'm going to stop wasting time. I'm gonna talk to Kyle,  I'm gonna tell him how I feel. The thought makes my stomach do a flip and instantly I want to back out... but I don't. I'm going to do it. I'll invite him out on Friday and tell him then, make it a sweet (well hopefully it'll be sweet and not
embarrassing) moment for us.

Where do I invite him out to? Something fun and casual... maybe the movies? I grab my phone and look up our local cinema, I'm not sure what movies they're even showing at the moment.

On Friday they're showing some chick-flicks after school and an action movie that looks sick. Seriously? They're on my showing the action movie it during school? That's such an ass business choice honestly. It's fine, I guess I'll just see if Kyle is willing to skip.

I close google and open my messages.

Kyle!!!

Dude

Hey
What's up

Do u wanna ditch on friday and
see a movie w/ me?

Sure
What movie tho?

Idk some action movie it actually
looks pretty sick

Sweet
I'm so excited :)

Yea same!!!

I turn my phone off. Well fuck... there's no changing my mind now. In a few days he'll know, in a few days things are either gonna be really amazing or really terrible and awkward. Shitttt. why did I do this?