dirty little secrets

another mistake

Emily's pov:
I've shut myself away into mine and Michelle's bedroom as the noise downstairs is just too much for me. I feel really overstimulated, and I just need my own space.

I don't understand why michelle would do this. She knows how I get in situations like this, yet she doesn't seem to care.

The noise from downstairs is coming up through the floor, I can't feel the beat to the music bounce against my body as I sit in the corner of the room with my head in my hands.

I've also shed some tears because when I feel like this, sometimes I just need to let out my true feelings to help me.

Although this time it hasn't helped so much...

I've tried to distract myself with different things, but I can't focus on anything but the noise coming from downstairs.

Michelle came up to see me a little while ago,and I told her how I was feeling, but she just told me that I need to grow up and get over myself.

I try to keep myself as calm as possible, yet I still feel a tense feeling throughout my body.

Suddenly, my head lifts a little when I hear a knock on the door. "C-come in." I say.

I watch as the door slowly opens, and summer enters the room, I try not to show how I'm really feeling as she closes the door behind her.

"Hey." She smiles.

"Hey.." I say quietly.

"Do you mind if I join you over there?" She asks me.

I chuckle, "Of course not."

She makes her way over and takes a seat on the floor beside me with a beer in her hand.

"So uh, why aren't you downstairs?" She asks me.

I shake my head, "Party's just aren't my thing."

"B-but, why are you sitting up here alone?" Her words behind to slur, and I can tell that she's drunk.

"I'm not sure." I shrug, lying to her.

She nudges me slightly before saying this, "bullshit! I know there's more to it than that!"

"Summer i-"

"Emily, just tell me what's wrong." She interrupts.

I roll my eyes playfully, "Fine. I get overwhelmed with things like this. Too much loud noise sets me off in a bad state, and I don't do well with big crowds." I decide to tell her the truth.

"Michelle knows that too, and I asked her not to do this tonight, but she went behind my back."

"Oh fuck." Summer says drunkenly, making me giggle.

"I-im sorry." She apologises.

She looks around the room before getting up from the floor and grabbing the nearest pair of headphones that are lying on the dresser.

"T-take these." She hands them to me.

"And uh... get this down you." She says, handing me her drink.

"Oh no, summer. I'm not a big drinker."

She sighs deeply, "You don't know how to have fun, do you?" She laughs.

"Just take it."

She pulls me into a hug, making me feel a lot better and like I actually have some support.

"I'm gonna head back down there. I'm gonna come back and check on you soon, okay?" She tells me.

"Summer, you really don't have to do that." I say.

The instant feeling of warmth I feel when I'm around her just feels so amazing. She makes me feel so comforted, and I know that I shouldn't feel that way about her, but I do.

I know that it's wrong.

She - she's just a kid...

I just can't help it.

I watch as she walks towards the bedroom door, and I decide to stop her from leaving, "Summer, wait." I say as I push myself up from the floor.

I walk towards her, placing one hand on her hip and my other on the side of her face as I find myself pressing my lips against hers.

She allows me to kiss her for a moment.

After she pulls away, she startes into my eyes with a look of shock on her face and I quickly begin to apologise. "Summer i- I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from."

"I'm so sor-" I attempt to continue, but I'm stopped when her lips hit mine once more.

For what feels like forever, I'm stuck in a moment of madness.

After we pull away from each other, she gazes into my eyes with a look on her face that tells me she's in love.

I quickly snap out of my trance, shaking my head as I do so. "What- What just happened?" I say as I begin to pace the room.

"It's okay, emily..." she tries to reassure me.

"No! No, it's not okay, summer. We just kissed!"

"You need to leave." I then usher her out of the room.

I can't believe I've let this happen again.

What's wrong with me!?