Rollercoaster love

Turning Point

It's been a few days. I've stayed in bed. Not answering calls from my teammates, my family. No one. Janet has called and texted telling me how she's doing. I'm guessing she knows that Molly ended things but knows I'm still going to worry.
There's a knock at my front door.
I ignore it.
I can hear someone shouting my name from outside.
I ignore them.
This is all my fault. Molly was right. I was selfish and now I've ruined her career.
Eventually the knocking and shouting stops. They must have left. Whoever it was.
Wait no. I hear the front door open.
"Leah Cathrine Williamson!"
Beth.
She comes upstairs and opens my bedroom door.
Beth: "what's going on? Are you okay?"
I shake my head and burst into tears.
Beth: "le, what is it?"
She climbs into bed with me and holds me tightly.
Beth: "talk to me"
Leah: "Molly, she ended it."
Beth: "what? I thought she was okay."
Leah: "I paralysed her."
Beth looks at me confused.
I tell Beth everything.
Beth: "oh Le, I'm so sorry. You didn't know it would happen."
I don't say anything. I just shake my head.
We lay there for a while before Beth says something.
Beth: "come on. Let's get you up."
Leah: "no."
Beth: "come on Le, we need to take your mind off it. Take a shower and I'll go make you some chicken nuggets."
She knows I can't resist chicken nuggets.
I nod and get out of bed. I stand in the shower. Washing everything away and head downstairs after I've got dressed.
I sit at the table and eat something. Not all of it but some.
Beth: "the team are worried about you."
Leah: "I know."
Beth: "do you know how Molly is doing?"
I shake my head as I take another bite.
Beth: "call her mum. Call your mum."
Leah: "I will."
Beth: "okay good."
Beth stays with me for a while. We watch movies and just talk.
As she's about to leave she turns and says.
Beth: "see you at training tomorrow?"
I nod and smile.
I think I need to go. Something to take my mind off my breaking heart.
Beth: "good. Love you mate."
Leah: "love you too."
I hug her tightly and she leaves.

I go to bed early. I call Janet, wanting to know what's going on.
Janet: "Leah, hi."
Leah: "hi, I'm sorry for disappearing. I just needed some time."
Janet: "it's okay. Are you okay?"
Leah: "I will be. I'm guessing Molly told you."
Janet: "she did sweetheart. She's told us she doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, she's hurting but she will come around."
Leah: "how is she?"
Janet: "she's okay. She had some rehab today and did okay."
Leah: "okay, good."
Janet: "she's told us not to tell you anything, but I'm going to keep telling you little things."
Leah: "don't, I don't want her to hate you."
Janet: "she won't know."
Leah: "I can't have her lose you too Janet. Please, just leave me out of it."
Janet: "if you're sure. If you change your mind just let me know. Stay in touch Leah, we are still family."
Leah: "you're still mine too. Just, look after her for me. She needs you guys."
Janet: "she needs you too Leah, she just doesn't know it yet."
Leah: "yeah."
We say bye and the phone call ends.
I've just cut off the only person who was telling me how Molly was doing. But I can't have her hate her parents too, she needs them. She needs her family.

A few months go by. I've been okay. Not playing my best but still playing.
I'm currently away at England camp and I've seen a lot of reports saying I'm not good enough to be on the team. It's hit me a bit hard but I'm using it as momentum to keep pushing.

We lost to Germany. But today we are playing South Africa. We are only 12 minutes in.
Naz passes the ball to me and I shoot. It goes in.
Emotion after emotion runs through my body. I scream. I roar. The team all rush over. Alex almost strangling me to death but hey ho. The team knew I needed it. I needed that goal to remind myself why I do what I do.

Full time and we have won. I have a smile on my face. I know why I do this now, and nothing is going to stop me from doing it. But the only person to run through my mind is Molly. I wish she saw my goal. I wish she watched me play. Beth comes over to me and hugs me.
Beth: "proud of you. 50 caps and a goal. After everything."
Leah: "thanks buddy."
I hug her tightly. She knows I needed it. She's the only person I've talked to about everything really.

A few more days go by. We played Man United and drew 1-1 which is a shame but it was a good overall performance and we dominated.
I get home and Wills car is on the drive.
I shit myself and I get out of my car and head inside.
Leah: "Hi."
Will: "hey sorry, I thought I'd take the opportunity to get some of Mollys things."
Leah: "erm yeah, go for it. How is she?"
Will: "she's gone back to LA, there's a rehab clinic who have said they can get her walking again."
Leah: "oh. That's good."
Will: "yeah, I'm shipping these out in the morning."
Leah: "okay, I'll erm leave you to it."
Will: "Leah, wait."
I turn around and face him.
Will: "how are you?"
Leah: "getting there. It comes in waves."
Will: "she misses you. Although she won't admit it because she's too stubborn. She misses you. Try and text her. She might just come back."
Leah: "she's blocked me, on everything. So I can't."
Will: "oh."
Leah: "just look after her for me."
Will: "we will."
I head to the garden so he can finish getting Mollys things. I hear the front door close after a while and he's gone.

She's gone.

Officially, she's gone.