Rollercoaster love

I love you

It's been 2 weeks since Molly had surgery. She's breathing on her own again so they took her breathing tube out finally.
I've gone back to light training, not much but it's something to keep my mind off of everything going on. The girls are all being great, not talking about Molly but they are still there for me when I'm down.

Today is game day. I'm not playing or going. I'm sitting watching it right next to Molly. The only place I want to be right now.

We go 2 nil up after 30 minutes. This new manager is going to be great for us. Renee will be a great change and I can't wait to get back to it.
I'm so engrossed in the game that I don't notice this thing I've been waiting for.
A croaky voice whispers something from behind me.
Molly: "wh-why are-aren't you pla-playing?"
I turn around.
Leah: "babe, you're awake? You're awake?"
Molly: "hey."
I jump up and kiss her. Her lips are dry but I've missed them so much.
I go to the door and shout that she's awake before rushing back to her side.
Doctors, nurses and family all run in.
Her parents fuss over her. Not once have I let go of her hand. She's awake and she knows who I am.
The doctors want more scans and tests so they book them in for an hours time so we can have a bit of time with her.
Molly: "le?"
Leah: "yeah baby."
Molly: "I love you."
I tear up, I've missed her talking.
Leah: "I love you more. More than anything in this world."
I'm wiping tears off my cheek every second. She knows who I am and our life together.
Molly: "my whole body is numb."
Leah: "It is? It's probably because you haven't moved in so long."
Molly: "no babe, I can't feel my legs, my hands are fine but my legs, they won't move."
Leah: "what? Try for me."
Molly: "I am trying. Why aren't they moving?"
Leah: "I I don't know. I'll check with the doctors."
Molly just nods. She doesn't say anything else. Even when they are running tests on her movement, not a sound comes out of her mouth, just a nod or a shake of the head.
The doctor asks me and her parents to step out of the room for a minute.
Doctor: "we are going to run some tests. There was a 0.5% chance of this happening."
Will: "of what happening?"
Doctor: "her being paralysed from the waist down."
Janet: "what?"
Leah: "you never said anything about that to us!"
Doctor: "we will know more after some scans and blood work okay?"
We all just nod.
I walk back in the room.
Molly: "I'm paralysed aren't I?"
Leah: "we don't know baby, we don't know. Scans will tells us everything okay?"
She just nods again. Tears threatening to spill from her eyes. I hold her hand and squeeze it tightly.

She goes in for scans and tests, still, not a word escapes Mollys lips. Nothing, I've not heard her talk in so long, a few words and she's silent again. I'm pacing around the waiting room, constantly looking to see if the doctor is going to come back or not.

What seems like hours pass but it was probably on 10 minutes.
The look on his face is the same as when he said Mol needed surgery.
Doctor: "I'm sorry."
Leah: "she's paralysed?"
Doctor: "the scans they aren't good. It could just be swelling so time will tell us more but we aren't positive."
Leah: "she's got her memory but can't walk?"
Doctor: "yes."
I don't say anything. Janet and Will look at me.
Leah: "I'm sorry."
Will: "no don't you dare."
They both hug me.
I look at the doctor.
Leah: "does she know?"
Doctor: "not yet."
Leah: "I'll tell her. This is my fault, so I'll tell her."
I walk out the room before anyone can say anything. I head to her room and she's looking at the ceiling.
Leah: "hi."
Molly: "hi."
Leah: "it's not good news."
Molly: "who said I should have the surgery?"
Leah: "me. If you didn't have it you'd lose your memories and I couldn't do that to you."
Molly: "so you paralyse me instead?!"
Leah: "I didn't know that would happen. No one said anything about that."
Molly: "I can never dance on stage for my fans again! Thanks to you!"
Leah: "baby. Please."
Molly: "no! You were selfish! Now I can't do what I love to do!"
Leah: "I couldn't lose 4 years of memories Mol! I couldn't."
Molly: "just get out! Get the fuck out! I never want to see you again!"
Leah: "Mol."
Molly: "GET OUT!"
I look at the floor. Tears in my eyes.
I head to the door.
Leah: "I love you."