Purposeful Intentions-Yelena Belova x Reader

Why do you hate me

Yelena spent another few days lost in her own head before making the decision to snap out of it. She heard through the grapevine that JJ was gathering information to find Emily, and that seemed like an okay place to start. Tracking her down hadn't been hard, JJ's whereabouts around the compound were very talked about. Y/N was the one that still hadn't left the basement even though it'd been a while since they unlocked it.

"I heard about what you're doing, I'd like to help." She dipped into the conversation slowly, unsure of the reception. JJ was still a wildcard. Yelena could end up with a glass of alcohol in her hand and a chat, or pinned against the wall by her neck. Neither would have shocked her.

"I'm not supposed to talk to you." The response was quiet and she didn't look up from the device.

Okay, Yelena stood corrected, the other blonde could still shock her. That was far from an invitation and Yelena kept her distance, but tried again.

"I'm not here with an agenda. Nothing to do with Y/N. I just want to help." The vulnerability she'd exposed went against her instincts but she didn't leave.

Wrong answer. JJ didn't care that Yelena was opening up, at the mention of his name her body went rigid. The movement put Yelena on edge and she considered leaving. Her bed had been warm, her thoughts had been slowing down. The encounter had her feeling like she was sliding backwards.

JJ inhaled sharply and her knuckles went white against the edge of the tablet. She laid it on the table slow and closed her eyes. The breaths coming from her nose were hot and she pulled her bottom lip into her teeth. She'd avoided Yelena as long as she could, and she suddenly felt like it had all been for nothing. She thought the longer she avoided her, the less angry she'd get. In a sick twist of fate the distance only made JJ more angry, and the ability to keep her mouth closed would become impossible.

Yelena wasn't going to leave, and when that became apparent she repeated herself, "I'm. Not. Supposed. To. Tal-"

"I heard you the first time." Yelena cut her off. "According to who?"

"If you don't have anything nice you say, than don't say anything at all."

Yelena was annoyed. She'd come across a lot of people in her lifetime, but none of them were near as frustrating as their guests. She stepped through the room and pulled a chair across the floor to sit right across the table from JJ. She'd still been staring at the tablet and Yelena took a second to look. It'd been hard to make out upside down and with her hands in the way. Her brain had expected a map, not a photo. A photo of Emily.

The annoyance faded, and was quickly replaced by empathy. Yelena could not begin to understand JJ's life, or her loss. They'd both lived through their fair share of traumas, but that didn't mean they shared the same experiences. JJ lost the person that made her feel loved, even after everything. They weren't on the same level, and the realization hit Yelena hard. JJ didn't struggle with her feelings, she wore them on her sleeve. If she was angry, you'd know it, if she cared about you, you'd know it. Yelena herself was incapable of even sorting them, let alone expressing them. Jealousy wasn't necessarily a new feeling, she just never expected the range of it she could experience towards one person.

JJ turned the screen off and pushed her chair back. "If you're not gonna leave, than I will."

"I'm trying JJ."

Laughter rang out across the room and she was on her feet before Yelena could process it.

"Trying? Trying to do what? Be friends? Use me? Get information?" JJ's fuse was burning, she had to get out or risk blowing up. But her feet didn't move, her breathing became labored. Yelena's mouth opened and closed, she didn't know how to respond.