Emily Sanders and the List (on hold)

Prologue

I'm going to get straight to the point, I'm dying. I mean that's the point of all of this isn't it? The cards, the photos, the condolences from the community. My mom says that all this attention is good, and I quote "help me through my journey to acceptance and to the other side"

My opinion, that's all bull. But I'm not complaining, I know its more for them then for me anyway. To not help myself cope with this, but for others.

She didn't take the news lightly, no one did. It was around the end of my Junior year when things seemed a bit off. I ignored it until I couldn't anymore and my mom decided to take me to a hospital. I went through multiple blood testing to see if we could figure it out. A few weeks later I found myself in my doctors office.

It was clean and smelled funny just like the rest of the hospital. The doctor came in with the results and this look on his face forever etched in my mind.

"I'm so sorry to tell you but Emily has stage 3 leukemia." He said

My whole world went numb. I couldn't hear the rest or see my moms reaction. Time around me just seemed to stop as I tried processing what I just heard.

Realization hit me and the next thing I knew I was running. I didn't know where I just had to get out. Out of the room even out of the building. It was as if I was running away from the problem. But I knew I couldn't.

I ran to a nearby park and sat on a bench. Thoughts flooded my mind. I have cancer. I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm going to die. I would have spent my whole life going to school. Hell I haven't even had sex yet let alone a first kiss and I'm already fucking dying. It didn't make any sense.

Hot tears were pouring out of my eyes. I didn't even notice my mom found me until I felt her arms around my body. We let go after what seemed like forever and started heading home. The ride was silent. My mom interrupting it every once in awhile to explain the process of the medications I'll be getting or that she needs to call my brother. I kept my mouth shut. When we got home I went straight to my room and fell on my bed.

Now here I am. I spent most of my summer in bed depressed and angry, but lately I've grown to live with it. It hasn't been bad so far which is good. I just can't let this get to me anymore.

My family is a different story. My older brother Adam flew all the way from college when he found out and has been visiting a lot. He also calls every day. My mom looks like she is about to cry every time she sees me.

My daddy was a fire fighter and sadly died on the job a few years ago. I think that just makes it worse for my family. They don't want to lose someone else. And I wish I could prevent that.

School starts in a few days and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. Eventually everyone is going to know and my status will go from just a girl to the sick girl. People will look at me funny especially when I start to physically show how ill I am. I just hope I can survive life before the actual dying starts.

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Hey guys. So this is my first book so please go easy on me. I hope you all liked it so far