Emily Sanders and the List (on hold)

Chapter 6

*pic of John*

What did I do? I keep asking myself that since Saturday afternoon, and now its Monday. I left him a text message. I even called! But nothing, no answer. It had to of been that question I asked him.

"What's your family like?"

I didn't mean to hit a nerve, we were just asking each other questions. I wanted to know if he is as loving with his parents and possibly siblings as he is with his Nana. Not the end of the world.

But, maybe it is for him. Truth is that's a very personal question. And why would he tell a girl he barely knows about his family issues. I wouldn't. Maybe I was going to fast. I don't feel like I was though. I mean he got to ask about my sickness, and that's private. But I still gave him an answer.

All these secrets of his are making me angry. I know I should respect them and I do but I feel like its just something he needs to tell someone. Get it off his chest, and I just wanted to be that person.

I thought we could be friends, maybe he doesn't want that. Maybe the deal is off. If it is I think I would cry. Even though I was scared I had fun. He helped me accomplish something. Something that made me feel so alive, even after the circumstances of why we did it.

Maybe he will talk to me later. I mean, he kind of has to if he continues the deal. Not only that but I have to tutor him.

"Emily..."

That is unless of course he stops the deal. O god I'm going to go insane! Why won't he talk to me!?

"Emily?.."

Then again, why am I so concerned about this? Is it because of the deal or him. Why would it be him though? That doesn't make sense.

"Emily!"

I mean, its not like I like him. Do I? No that's impossible. I barely know him. And he's a dick. He doesn't care. Cause if he did he would be talking to me!!

"EMILY!!!"

I'm scared out of my thoughts, confusion on my face. I look around to bare my surroundings. I'm still at Starbucks, sitting across from John. I sigh and take a sip of my drink.

"What was that about?" John asked me.

I look up at him, deciding to just play dumb.

"Hmm? What" I said

"I was calling your name for like 7 minutes. What were you thinking so hard about?"

Crap "O um nothing I was just missing Kate, wondering if her cold is better yet." Please fall for that please fall for that

"Ok..." John gives me a quizzical look but shakes it off anyway. Thank god

Its not like I want to keep secrets from my friends, but the truth is I don't even know what I would tell them. I don't know what's going on myself.

The things that have been happening these last couple of weeks have been so sudden, random, life changing even, that its hard to put into words that would make sense. I mean I could always say the basic truth. Well John, you see I wrote this bucket list cause I was starting to regret my pathetic life. But somehow in the process Caleb Reese got his hands on it and is helping me to complete it if I tutor him. But I said something wrong and he might not help me anymore and I will die not completing anything.