Emily Sanders and the List (on hold)

Chapter 21

I tense up when the nurse pulls out the iv from my arm.

I'll never get use to it.

However I'm not as drowsy as my first few sessions. I immediately sit up and reach for my moms hand. She's comes quickly to my side and kisses my forehead before helping me change

And soon as we finish the doctor comes in.

"Hello again miss sanders how are you?" He asks

"I'm OK"I shrug

"That's good. So I'm here to go over the review from the last few sessions."

My moms sits up. "How is she doing?" She asks

"Im going to be honest, there's no signs of radical improvement" he sadly says

My mom shrink back in her seat.

"However" he adds "while things haven't gotten greatly better, they haven't gotten worse either"

"The cancer seems to be at a steady place right now. This is some what good, it means the chemo is doing something. I recommend continuing it and see if things start to pick up"

My mom listens the entire time as I start to drift with my thoughts. Well one thought. Before I realize it I blurt it out

"If I don't improve how long do I have?" I interrupt

"Sweetheart no don't ask things like that now" my mom scolds.

"Its alright Mrs.Sanders" the doctor says before looking at me. "Well Emily if things don't improve I'd say maybe a year. A little more tops. I'm not saying this to scare you I'm just informing you of what's going on right now OK?"

I nod my head and look down. My mom and the doctor talk a little more before we're in the car, then finally home.

I go straight to my room, not in the mood for social interaction. Luckily Adam and paisley were on a date and mom was catching up on her shows.

I lock my door then shuffle my feet to my bed.

What felt like hours I simply laid on top of my covers. Either reading, taking naps, or thinking.

At some point I rolled onto my stomach and reached for my phone to see I have any notifications.

I sigh when I see none.

School starts back up tomorrow. That means its been a little over a week since the Christmas party. And during that entire time I have not seen nor heard from Caleb.

I'm not exactly sure why this is happening, but me being me I assume its the worse case scenario

But then again why wouldn't I? This all happened after the party. Where if you don't remember we were practically ripping our clothes off.

...OK maybe not ripping our clothes off but I swear I heard his shirt stretch when I tugged it.

Anyway back to the main topic.

That's probably it. The kissing was probably so bad for him and now it's so awkward that he just wants to avoid me completely.

I mean he always made sure to text me in the morning, night, and at least one ugly snapchat picture.

But now nothing, zip, Nada.

I huff and roll back over to my back and look up at the ceiling, taking one of my pillows and placing it on my stomach. I then began to casually play with Caleb's necklace around my neck.

Maybe that's not the case. Maybe he's with friends. He does have ones he doesn't want me involved with. That or maybe family.

But he told me himself his family isn't like that. And that he has been working on leaving that group of people to spend time with me.