Dusk Above the Tribute

Chapter 3

"You did what?!" Caspian screams.

I didn't know he would be this angry with me. All I did was team up with districts 1 and 2.

"I know Sapphire. Our grandparents had relation of some sort... Me and my father had to make a pit stop to her district while delivering fish we'd caught to the Capitol." I say softly, heavy fear in my eyes because of your anger.

"Does that phase me? Does that change the fact that they'd kill you in a second? That boy you were talking to... He's twice your size! He could kill you in an instant if you made one wrong move with them!" Caspian yells, his voice cracking. I try to remind myself that he is only 18 and is still a child. He was robbed of his childhood, just as I was.

"I'm sorry. I am. But I feel like I'm safer with them than alone. They're never out of supplies, never scared that they'll drop dead any moment." I reply.

"Why won't you work with Flynn? He knows you better than a girl you've met once, and yet you're still so against teaming up with him." He asks.

"We have... History. If I find him, don't think for a second he'll make it out of the arena alive. I will be the one to kill him. And that is something I swear on." I reply coldly, turning away.

"Well, aren't you bright?" He responds, leaving the room.

I don't want to go into the games. I want a pain-free death, which I know will not be possible of any sort in the arena. I step into the bathroom, staring down at the bathtub. I caress the cold feeling of the faucet as I turn the water on. The cold, fresh feeling of the water satisfies me. I step into the chilling tub slowly, fully clothed. I sink in, my head fully submerged, not breathing. Not a care in the world. My life, and all my memories flash before my eyes. I think of Dylan. Of my father. I tell myself that Dylan would've wanted me to die peacefully rather than fight it out and die a painful death in the arena. So I sink. The water continues running, my body feeling weightless. I begin to feel the weight of my eyelids covering my eyes slip away. The weight of my stress falling off my back. The water is now spilling all over the floor. Soon somebody will realize. Possibly Caspian. Possibly Annie. Possibly Flynn. Flynn would let me die in this tub. I would do the same with him. The moment I see the light is the same moment I hear somebody busting through the door. I'm dragged out onto the floor. The same floor which is submerged in water. It takes me a while, but eventually I open my eyes to see Caspian crouching over me. He's crying. His tears falling off of his cheeks and landing onto my face.

"Cora... Cora you're alive..." He says through tears. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I—" I begin, but my words are cut short by me coughing some water up. "I'm sorry."

"But why? Why would you..." He can't seem to finish his sentence.

"I didn't want to die in the games... And I knew I would. I couldn't even imagine how Dylan would react seeing me fall. Brutally. I didn't even want to picture his face seeing my headshot in the sky." I tell him.

"Oh my god, Cora." He says, standing up straight from his old crouching position. "You're not as weak as you think you are. Once you get a high training score, maybe you'll start to believe me. But it really seems like there's nothing I can do to help you right now. The Career pack thought you were good enough to work with them. Isn't that convincing enough? Stop trying to find a loophole around this situation. Do you realize that if you did end up dying in that tub, that both Dylan and your father would be killed too? Whereas if you died in the arena they'd still live. Maybe less happy, but they'd still have a life to live. Wake up, Cora. Wake up." He says, leaving the room.

I find myself lying in a puddle for well over 10 minutes, thinking over what Caspian said. What really would have happened if I did pass in the bathtub? Would Dylan and my father really have been killed? Would I have defied the Capitol?

I get up from the floor, my clothing sopping wet and sticking to my skin. I basically drag myself to the first closet I see, where I snag an oversized t-shirt and loose gray sweatpants. I find myself stumbling to the main room, basically passing out on the couch.

"You like my clothes?" I hear in a gruff tone. I look up to see Caspian at the other end of the couch.

"Oh, these are yours?" I reply, my voice cracking. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'll change." I get up from the couch slowly.

"No, it's fine. Keep it. Maybe you'll wear them all the time after you win. And I know you have a chance." He tells me.

I sigh, knowing there is no way to convince him against it. He will never stop believing in me until the day I die. His hope and pride isn't making me believe it myself, though. "Thanks." Is all I can seem to say. I can't force any other words to escape my lips. I also can't force myself to sit in that room with Caspian any longer. I still see the vivid memory. The look on his face when he found me in the bathroom. The look of betrayal drowned him. The scent of pain eating him from the inside out. I remember the warmth of his tears every time one fell down onto my face. The cooling, satisfying feeling of the bathtub. And of course, the regret I felt afterwards Caspian left. His words stung.

I leave to go to Caspian's room. I sit there. Rocking back and forth on a comfy chair in the corner. Wondering what would've happened if I really did die. Would the game makers have replaced me? With who? I sense a chilling feeling down my spine once I realize they would most likely send my brother into the arena. Dylan. I remember how nervous he was the night before reaping day. I remember how all of his nervousness seemed to have faded away the next morning. What was going on with him?

Just then, someone walks in the room. I suspected it to be Annie, knowing I haven't seen her since the incident and Caspian would've likely told her, but it was not. It was Caspian. Standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, shutting him away.

"I'm sorry, am I not allowed in my own room?" He responds with a fresh hint of sass in his tone. "I just want to talk to you. For a minute. I won't yell. I swear." He says in a softer, more understanding voice. He takes my silence as approval and begins. "I understand why you did that to yourself. I know you just wanted the best for your family. When I was reaped, god, all hell broke loose." He says jokingly. "The amount of sponsors I received was insane. But on the downside, every tribute was out to get me first. Especially the Career pack. They hatched a plan to track me down and kill me. Obviously, without success." He says as he points to himself. "Sorry, I'm making this all about me. All I'm trying to say is that even if it feels like all the odds are against you, believing in yourself is really all that matters. I just looked to the brighter side. Reminded myself of all the sponsors I was receiving. You should do that. Keep reminding yourself on how Districts 1 and 2 thought you were good enough to join their alliance. You're the only one they've asked. Remember that." He says before leaving the room.

"Wait — Caspian, don't go. Please." I beg him. Just a minute ago I would've shooed him away.

"Yeah. Forever and always." He says, settling onto his bed. He pats the empty space next to him. I look up at him from the cushioned chair I've been sitting on. Slowly I realize what he's signaling and warm up into the spot next to him. He wraps his arm protectively around me. Nothing is heard for a small while.

"You know, when I saw you in the bathroom, I realized something." He begins.

"And what was it?" I ask, slightly uncomfortable at the mention of the bathroom.

"I seriously do care about you. I didn't realize it until now, but whether you live or die matters to me more than I thought it would." He tells me, a dollop of compassion in his voice.

"Thank you. I think I realized you cared for me at that moment too." I reply, leaning my head against his shoulder farther.

"This is how my parents met," He says in a lower tone than before.

"What are you suggesting?" I ask, looking up at him. He gets all hot and bothered.

"No — Nothing. Forget it." He replies.

"Sorry if I ticked you off. You know, Caspian, I care about you too. I don't really think we got along so ideally in the start, but you grew on me." I admit.

"Really? Is that?" He asks.

"It is so," I reply.

And the rest of the night goes by in the blink of an eye. I'm much happier, having spent it with Caspian by my side.