Listen, Obey

25. Twenty-Fifth Lesson

A timid knock on the door pushed us apart, and I missed the contact instantly. Matthews stepped to the side and straightened his back. He appeared different, almost darker while I cowered down in confusion.

"Enter," he said, deliberately lowering his voice from the way he spoke mere minutes ago.

The door opened slowly, revealing a young man dressed in what I would describe as straps of leather. It wasn't much...or more like nothing at all.

He fell to the floor on his knees and stared down at his thighs. "Master, I'm sorry to interrupt. I did not know you had company. Forgive me."

Of all the things that could possibly have happened, this was the least expected. A cold shiver ran down from my hairline, crawling along my spine until it hit the small of my back. Master. Apparently I wasn't the only one keeping secrets. Feeling slightly disgusted, I wiped the remnants of Matthews' saliva from my lips. I wanted to leave, but the submissive was kneeling in the doorway, and no way I would walk right over him.

I felt Matthews look at me, but I schooled my expression and stared into nothing. After everything, after his damn speech about caring, this was the cold, harsh reality. I had a dept to pay come morning, one I had no chance of settling, and Matthews had a submissive. It shouldn't have mattered to me, but it did.

"Vidar, I'm not finished here, but I'll come see you soon. Wait in our room, you may rest on the bed." Matthews' voice, once alluring to me, seemed to punch nails through my chest. Word by word. Nail by nail.

"Yes Master," the young man answered and left, still bowed down and not sparing me a glance.

The entire scene was over so fast that I wondered if it actually happened.

"Ethan, I know your mind is running like crazy right now, but before you jump to conclusions, please listen to me."

I still couldn't look at him. I was empty, drained of everything. It was a numbing feeling, but nothing like falling into the bliss of drug induced silence-this was a cold emptiness, hostile and uncomfortable.

Matthews stepped into my line of vision, reaching out to touch me when I backed away. I didn't want his touch. I didn't want him anywhere near me. I was perfectly aware of how weird and out of proportion my reaction was, but it felt like the only thing I could do.

"Fine, I'll talk even if you're not looking at me." Matthews sighed but kept his stance. "Vidar and I have a three-month contract running, and as much as I would like to cancel it based on your reaction just now, I can't. Even if we're not involved in a relationship beyond the Dom/sub contract, I still care about his feelings, and trust me, he's as sensitive as you are."

I wasn't sure if his words made me feel better or worse.

He sighed again, clearly annoyed. "Ethan, I-"

"Save it."

I brushed past him and aimed for the door, but before I reached the handle, Matthews' hand latched onto my shoulder.

"Don't touch me," I hissed, trying to get out of his hold.

"Ethan, stop. You're making this worse for both of us."

Cold as a frigid winter night, I turned around and met his eyes. "We're done. Let me go."

Something sparkled in his steel blue eyes, but it flashed away, turning into anger. "No, I'm not letting you walk out of this room like this. We're talking about this whether you want it or not."

"No."

"Yes we are."

I narrowed my eyes. "Doesn't no mean anything to you?"

I could have sworn Matthews grew an inch at my words, and I almost grinned. At least I knew where his buttons were, and it gave me a twisted sort of confidence.

He took a step toward me, then another until he had me pressed up against the door. Raw hurt and anger still boiled within me, and I had no intention of letting myself fall into his trap again, not when I knew that he was just like everyone else. Of course he could talk about honesty; it all sounded so good in theory, but no one lived by their big words. He talked bullshit, just like everybody else, but instead of owning up to it, he put himself above others. I despised such behavior. The world was full of people like that; I'd met my fair share of them. They disgusted me.

"That kiss meant something to me, Ethan."

"I call bullshit."

"Mind your tone."

Was he serious? I wasn't a fucking kid he could lecture. I wasn't his submissive. Clearly. He cared about someone else, and that was fine as long as I never had to see him again. I felt like spitting in his face, but I stopped myself by biting into my lower lip, drawing blood.

Matthews inhaled a deep breath, falling back a little to allow me some space. "I would never lie to you, Ethan. Trust is important to me, and...I. I didn't expect this to happen. I didn't expect us to happen. And whatever this is," he pointed between the two of us, "has thrown me for a loop."

Rolling my eyes, I felt for the handle with my left hand. He was an idiot of he thought I would buy anything he said. I was used to lies. I was born into a life of fucking lies. There was no honesty in the world. He could believe that if it made him sleep better at night, but he didn't get to preach anything in front of me. The worst thing was that I had believed him. Stupid and naive, I had gobbled up his lies and opened up.

"Ethan, please." His hand touched my cheek, and I saw red.

"If I were your submissive, I would have safeworded. Right now."

Matthews face fell. His entire posture seemed to fall into pieces. He backed away, unsteady on his feet. A weird pang of guilt tugged at my gut, but I shoved it away. I could never hurt him the way he already hurt me. What he felt was nothing. It was all lies. No matter how pale he was, or how pained he appeared, it meant nothing to me. It shouldn't mean anything to me. He could go fuck his submissive and forget about me.

I turned the handle and walked out, fueled by yet another betrayal.

A/N I woke up with this chapter in my head. I can't say it was a pleasant experience...sorry for that, but you know me by now. Love you all, but I guess I can't stop clawing at your hearts.