Listen, Obey

41. Forty-First Lesson

I could hardly breathe. He wasn't supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to return to the place that had almost killed us both.

Matthews' hand closed around the small of my back, instilling a sense of calm that I didn't possess. He held me; he carried me. If I were there alone, I would have sat down by Jace's side, attaching my life to his once again no matter what that life meant for me or him.

Dark hollows rested beneath Jace's eyes, but his clothes were cleaner than I had ever seen them. The scene reminded me of a faded photograph of a man living in style. Dull and washed-out, but dressed up to look their best.

"Thought you might want to see my newest boy." Sam's sneer matched the spiteful words. He was laughing at us. He was shining in the distorted light of extinguished hope. He knew what he was doing, and he wasn't regretting a single thing.

Sam had his nasty claws deep inside Jace's soul, or at least his addiction. I could see the faint dusting of white powder beneath my friend's nose. Already. He couldn't have left St. Mary's more than a couple of days ago. But, it didn't matter. The damage was done. I was too late.

Matthews' grip around my back solidified, providing the strength that kept me from crawling out of my skin.

I couldn't answer Sam. Words evaded me. He had taken my friend. Exploited his weaknesses.

"You wanted to see Ethan. Here he is. Now, can we settle this before I change my mind." Matthews' commanding voice soothed my frayed nerves. The sound was a reminder that I wasn't alone, and I wasn't even in control. Matthews was here to support me, and I trusted him to never waver.

Sam let out a soft chuckle. It was almost warm in the most terrifying of manners. "The question is, what does Ethan want to do?"

The hidden intent was badly concealed. He thought I would choose to stay because he had Jace. In one way he was right because I did want to stay. If given the chance to save Jace, I would do almost anything. The problem for Sam was that I already knew that he had won. If I remained, Sam would take not only Jace's existence but mine as well.

Perhaps I was selfish for wanting to get away—leaving the second half of me behind, but the only chance I had to save him was to get the fuck out and get him out when I had a plan.

Jace appeared to be far away as our eyes met, lost in the high that clouded his senses. He lived in a happier place, but it was a deceptive dream where monsters lurked in the shadows. I couldn't leave him here. I couldn't.

My chest tightened at the thought that I would have to form some kind of decision.

Matthews soft whisper brushed the shell of my ear. "You can do this, Ethan. You're stronger than him."

I wasn't sure if he talked about Sam or Jace, but it didn't matter. He was right. As much as it hurt to say that about Jace, it was the truth. At least within this snapshot of time. He could be so much more, but I couldn't help him if didn't want to help himself.

I cleared my throat, trying to swallow past the unease. "We're here to pay the debt."

Sam's left eyebrow twitched in surprise. "Thought you'd be more concerned about your friend."

I watched Jace. Imagined or not, there was a sadness laced across his eyes that tore at my heart. Whether the cry for help was silent or not, I had to listen.

Listen.

I recalled the words Matthews said to me the first time we met.

Obey.

But what rules did I have to obey?

My hand found Matthews' leg, and I clasped the fabric of his slacks, hoping he would understand that I needed his help. I wanted him to take control because I was losing mine.

"Ethan's concern for his friend has nothing to do with this transaction. We're leaving, and you should hope that our paths never cross again."

I relaxed into Matthews' side. The logical part of my brain knew he was right. We were helpless in the confines of a hotel room with an armed guard at the door. If we tried to bargain for Jace, Sam would ask for more than I could ever repay. It sickened me to put a price tag on Jace's life, but it was only for now. I wasn't giving up.

Never.

"Very well. You know where to find me, Ethan," Sam replied. The glint in his eyes told me that he had come a long way from the dealer he once was. This man who stood before me was far more dangerous. He held himself with the confidence of a man above the law.

Matthews grabbed the envelope with money from his inside pocket and threw it on the floor. "We're leaving."

He turned me around, and with fear cracking in the air, we walked out. I didn't dare look up as we passed the guard standing in front of the door. He moved out of the way just as I thought we would smash into his rigid frame.

When the door closed behind us, I lost all composure, falling apart in Matthews' arms.

Gentle hands wiped the tears leaking from my eyes.

"We'll get him out of there. I promise."

"How?"

"We'll find a way."

It was easy to say. Words. They were only words, but I trusted him. If he thought that we could save him, I would believe every promise until he broke the first one.

Matthews hugged me closer. "Let's go home and sort out our thoughts. I'm sure we can think of something before we lose hope."

Hope.

That was a better word. It was a word that stood above promises. I would hope because there wasn't much else I could do.