Listen, Obey

5. Fifth Lesson

I was oddly aware of his hand resting at the small of my back as he led me towards his office. Every nerve ending seemed to tingle underneath the surface of my skin. 

The red door I'd entered earlier this day got closer and closer as we moved in synchronized steps. I didn't know what awaited me on the other side, and I wasn't sure I wanted to now any longer. Where Jenna held too little real authority, this man held too much. I knew I was likely to get crushed beneath him. 

I had met men like him before; not many times, but a few. In any other setting, I would flee at my first chance, but in this place it was supposed to be okay. He wasn't necessarily a bad man just because he had an aura that made my heart jump every other beat. 

Opening the door for me, he waved me inside. It looked the same as it did that morning, apart from the lack of sunlight cascading through the far window. I had to say that I liked the room better during the day. Like this, it looked too dark. 

His hand left my back as he moved to sit down on his Chesterfield chair. 

Again, he motioned me to sit down across the desk. I shuffled over and sat down. Waiting for him to speak, I scratched at my old scars and pulled down my sleeves as far as they went. 

"I didn't think she would bring you here tonight. That was a mistake." 

Not knowing if he would allow me to meet his eyes or not, I started at his folded hands. I noticed that they were quite elegant for belonging to a man. It wasn't something I'd ever put any thought to before, but I had admit that he had nice hands. 

"You're easily distracted," he commented. 

"Yes."

"And you don't seem like the chatty type."

I didn't know how to answer that. Some days I talked more than I should, and sometimes I rarely spoke. This was one of those times. If I wasn't sure of what to say, I remained quiet.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

I perked up at that. It struck me as an odd request. 

"Nothing special." 

"We'll add another rule to our little agreement. Listen, obey and don't lie."

I wanted to tell him that it wasn't a lie. It wasn't something special, but I knew when to back off. Sometimes.

"I was thinking that I talk sometimes, but not at all times."

"Communication is at the core of this, so it will be important for you to express your thoughts. Especially when they're asked for."

His words surprised me. I hadn't thought of it in that way. Honesty. I wasn't sure I would be able to handle that. Again, I felt like I didn't belong. This wasn't the place for me, just like he said earlier.

"I really should leave." 

As I rose from the seat, one of his hands struck out and wrapped around my wrist. 

"On the contrary. I think you should stay." 

I met his gaze, staring right into his steel blue eyes. "Why?" I spat out the word, tired of this farce. I knew I didn't belong, and now that I knew, I didn't want them to make some half-assed attempt at making me stay. 

He rose to his full height, towering above me. He stroked my wrist with his thumb, reaching higher and higher towards my elbow. Bile rose in my throat; he would notice and I couldn't let him. 

"No!" I tired to free my arm, but his hold didn't budge. 

He stopped searching and lifted my chin with his index finger. Angry tears burned behind my eyes, but I didn't resist him. I couldn't. 

"When you say no, I stop." 

My shallow breaths increased in intensity. I didn't want to cry. 

"Do you understand?" 

I nodded. 

I just wanted to get out of there. It was too much. Everything he said caused a physical reaction of some kind, and I was tired of it. So fucking tired. He was tearing me to pieces without even trying. 

All I wanted was to fly away, go numb. I wanted it so badly. 

"There's a sofa behind you. I want you to sit down while I get a blanket. I'm letting go of your wrist." 

I blinked; trying to get a grip. I was losing it. Go sit. That should have been easy, but my body didn't want to cooperate. He disappeared from sight, but that didn't make things easier. Run. I should. I should run and escape. I knew how to. It was easy. Escape was just one hit away. 

"It's just a blanket," he said, just as it landed on my shoulders. It didn't matter that he told me in advance, my knees buckled. I wasn't in control of my body. 

He caught me before I fell to the ground, picking me up in his arms. 

My mind growled at him, but nothing passed my lips. I didn't understand. I just wanted everything to stop. 

He lowered me into the sofa, wrapped the blanket so tightly around me that I couldn't move. I felt trapped. 

The sofa creaked as he sat down. No. I didn't want this. 

His soothing fingers found my hair again. Stroking it gently. 

"Just sleep, Ethan. Nothing will happen to you while you're here. Sleep and then we'll talk tomorrow."

I wanted to say something, but nothing worked. The words wouldn't form in my mind. I had never felt this way before. Never so vulnerable an safe at the same time. It was another type of numb.

I wouldn't sleep. I couldn't trust him. I should have been afraid, but it was as if my body had given up. My breathing slowed, everything slowed, and I found myself slipping away with a strange sense of calm enveloping me. 

A/N oh my, I don't know if this chapter works or not. Did you feel his panic? otherwise the ending wouldn't make much sense :/ can you please tell me if it's clear enough? Thanks for reading <3