Listen, Obey

12. Twelfth Lesson

I had thought Matthews would explain more of the details about the job as we sat down for a small snack, but he barely talked to me. His attentions were on his daughter, who was clearly too excited about the movie to think about eating. He had to coax her to eat at all, and then she declined every other bite.

Lisa’s phone rang just as Matthews seemed to give up on Tilia. Lisa excused herself and exited the kitchen. I thought it would feel odd to sit alone with the two others, but it was actually relieving—I didn’t have to think about what Lisa thought.

She came in after a few minutes, letting us know that she couldn’t stay.

“I’m sorry, Ethan. They called from the clinic, they’re one short.”

I rose from the table, knowing it was my cue to leave as well. Matthews looked up at me and then Lisa. “I’ll drive you back then.”

“No, there’s no need. They’ve already sent a car to pick me up.”

“Us up,” I clarified, or perhaps it was a question.

“You can stay, Ethan.”

I couldn’t read the expression on her face. I wasn’t sure if it was meant to be a reassuring ‘you can do this’ or a more demanding ‘you have to stay’.

Before I had time to answer, Tilia rose from her chair and clasped my hand. Her big blue eyes stared up at me. “Are you leaving?”

I was impressed that she got that from our brief conversation; clearly she was a clever child. Another, much sadder thought struck me, separation issues. If she had problems with separation, she would be attuned to that and pick it up whenever there was a threat of it. I knew it all too well.

It was impossible to leave her when those beautiful eyes glazed over with threatening tears.

Matthews gave me a reassuring nod; at least this one was easy to read. I could stay if I wanted to.

“Let’s go watch that movie you keep telling me about,” I said and squeezed around her small fingers.

Her face broke up in a sweet smile and she tugged me with her before stopping abruptly in the doorway. “Can we leave, Daddy?”

“Today you can, honey, but tomorrow you’ll have to take care of your plate before leaving.”

The small girl blushed a little but seemed to forget about being chastised as she led the way upstairs. We ended up in a room with a large sofa full of blankets and cushions. She let go of my hand and rushed to the TV. She seemed to know what she was doing because the TV came alive, and so did the DVD-player. She dashed back to the sofa with the remote in her hand and buried herself in between the blankets. Looking up at me expectantly, she patted the seat next to her and said, “Sit here.”

Sitting down, she gave me the remote control. Obviously this was my part. I found the menu and pushed play. Tilia started to fidget with the blanket as we waited for the first scene. “Daddy!” she called.

I didn’t know why she called, and I was still unused to the situation, so I stayed silent. Tilia stared at the TV, but every now and then her eyes went to the door. “Daddy!” she called again.

It was time to say something, I was supposed to be her babysitter after all, or something like that. “Do you want me to go downstairs and tell him something?”

“No, he comes now,” she replied, beaming, and I could hear the faint sounds of footsteps ascending the stairs.

Matthews became visible in the doorway. “What is it, honey?”

“Can you watch with us? Please, Daddy.”

I thought Matthews would roll his eyes and leave us to watch alone, but he sat down next to me, adjusting the cushions behind him. Even if he didn’t sit extremely close, he might as well have been touching me considering how acutely aware I became of his presence.

“Oh wait,” he said and got up from the sofa. Thank Hera. I could breathe again. The room became dark as he flicked the switch on the wall.

“Cozy, Daddy!” Tilia beamed, clapping her hands. Clearly, it wasn’t difficult to get her excited. Matthews chuckled and sat back down. Like before, it felt like he sat much closer than he actually was.

I stole a glance at him, and he gave me a crooked grin. I couldn’t tell if he felt the way I did, or if he was having a relaxed moment with his kid. Why did he have to sit there, why not next to his daughter? It was a troublesome feeling: the way he affected me. I didn’t understand it. It was akin to fear, but despite that he was a scary character I didn’t think that was the cause of my reaction.

If I didn’t know better, I would think I was attracted to him. That made me shift uncomfortably. That couldn’t be it. Could it?

Out of nowhere, Matthews placed his hand on mine and leaned in closer to my ear. “Are you okay?”

The rational part of my brain said that he whispered because he didn’t want his daughter to hear, but as his breath touched my skin I couldn’t control my reaction.

I was on fire. 

A/N DOUBLE UPDATE! haha, I'm on a roll. These are short chapters, but still. It's so fun to write this one right now. Thanks for all your support!!