From Reluctance to Desire: A Mafia Story [JJK]

✨UNAVOIDABLE LONGING✨

JUNGKOOK POV:

I remember everything from that night.

Every single word I said. Every glance. Every touch.

I acted like I didn't remember—like the alcohol had clouded my mind—but the truth? I knew exactly what I was doing. I just wanted to see what she was thinking, how she would react. I wanted to know if any part of her felt the same pull I did.

She says I hated her. Maybe I tried to. But the truth?

I never did.

The hatred, the coldness—it was armor. A shield. Because if I let myself feel, if I let my guard slip even once, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. And last night, I slipped.

She looked so damn beautiful at the party. It caught me off guard. I had seen her dressed up before, had watched her carry herself with that same fire and defiance that drove me insane, but last night was different. Last night, she wasn't just the woman I had been forced to marry.

 She was the woman I wanted.

I had wanted to tell her, but the words only came out when I was drunk.

"You looked... beautiful."

I had meant it.

"You surprised me."

That had been the truth too. Because how the hell had she become the only thing on my mind?

And when she touched me—when her fingers brushed against my sleeve, grounding me in the way I didn't even realize I needed—I had felt something snap inside me.

The worst part was, I had wanted to stay there.

To touch her again. To feel her warmth. To stay in that ridiculous moment forever.

She made me feel... human. 

And that terrified me.

Because a mafia king shouldn't have these feelings.

A man in my position—someone feared, respected, ruthless—didn't fall in love.

And that's what this was.

I didn't need to question it anymore.

I stood up, pacing the room as I wrestled with the reality of it all.

And then, the part that haunted me the most.

I had wanted to kiss her.

More than anything.

I had wanted to close the space between us, to taste the warmth of her lips, to let myself lose control just for a moment.

But I didn't.

I couldn't.

Because once I did, there would be no going back.

I wasn't supposed to love her.

I wasn't supposed to crave her like this.

But I did.

And it was destroying me.

I was falling for her, and every damn second, I hated myself for it.

But what did that mean for us?

How could I be the man she needed when I was so entangled in a world that demanded ruthlessness? Could I be both—the man who ruled with an iron fist and the man who cared for her in ways I never thought possible?