Matt had been blowing you off for the past two weeks or so. Your best friend who you used to see every day had been ditching you and being secretive and you weren't sure why. You knew as much as his brothers did, that Matt had been hanging out with...
Chris and Nick walked into Larray's party dragging Matt by the collar. But that was nothing new, Matt preferred to stay home long before everything went down between you two. However, it was New Year's Eve and the two boys begged Matt to come. He was reluctant, considering he knew that this party would be bigger than most, but he wanted to make his brothers happy.
He was doing better since the last time he saw you, but he still missed you like hell. And he was trying to find the right time to reach out to you. It broke his heart how you had left his house that night, and he wished he could fix everything. But again, he was trying to respect your emotions. His biggest struggle was not knowing when he should be doing things, it was all about timing.
The boys made their loops around the house, saying hi to everyone, when Chris noticed you across the way. He was surprised you hadn't mentioned to him that you were coming, but your texting had slowed a bit since you ran into Matt in Boston. Last he heard you were going to be in New York with your college friends for New Year's.
"Did either of you know she was coming?" Chris asked, directing their attention towards you across the room. Matt couldn't help but stare at you, unable to look away. He had forgotten how painful it was to see you in person, knowing you were both at the same place, at the same time, but in two completely different mental spaces.
"No, I had no idea," Nick said while Matt was still unable to talk.
"Maybe this is a good time to talk to her?" Chris suggested to Matt.
"Cause last time went so well," He said, referring to Boston.
"Come on, Matt," Chris said.
"I don't know if it's the right time..." Matt said.
"You'll never know if you don't try," Chris was right of course, he's always right when it comes to you. He did have an inside scoop when it came to you, considering he still spoke to you. But since you hadn't texted the past few weeks, he was going in blind.
After an hour or so of working up the courage, Matt decided it was finally time to try and talk to you.
"Okay, I'm ready,"
"You've said that three times now," Chris said.
"I'm serious this time," Matt said, taking a deep breath.
"Okay. We're going to walk over with you, say hi, and then you go for it okay? We're going to walk away from you so that you actually do it," Chris said, repeating the plan for the fifteenth time. Matt nodded.
"It's going to be okay, ya know? You're gonna figure it all out," Nick said as they all started walking towards you.
"We always do," Matt mumbled.
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You were finally alone after it felt like everyone had been all over you all night. You didn't know Matt was going to be here. You figured Nick and Chris would come, but nine times out of ten they couldn't get Matt to come with. Of course, tonight was the night, it is New Year's for goodness sake. Since recognizing he was here, all your friends who know what happened haven't left your side for a second. Although it was helpful, it was making things a bit more overwhelming as you felt like you couldn't breathe.
You were taken from your thoughts when your heart started pounding as you looked up and saw three boys walking your way. You felt guilty because you hadn't even told Chris that you were coming, but you knew he'd understand why. If you had texted Chris though, he would've warned you that Matt was coming, and then maybe you wouldn't have come.
"Hello miss," Nick said, hugging you. You smiled.
"Hi," You said, hugging back.
"You didn't tell me you were coming," Chris pouted as you hugged him.
"I know, I'm sorry! It was a last-minute decision," You said, honestly.
"Hey," Matt said. You turned to face him.
"Hi," You immediately felt nervous, but you both leaned in for a hug that felt anything but casual. You wanted to cry with how comfortable it was to be in his arms and you pulled away before you could think any harder about it.
"Can we talk?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck. You nodded. You followed him out of the loud backyard and inside. You guys went into a random guest bedroom.
"What's up?" You asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
"I, uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry,"
"Matt,"
"I know I keep saying that, but I am. I'm so sorry. I miss you. So damn much," You stared at him. "I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how you feel. I don't know if you still miss me the way that I miss you?" Matt took a breath, trying to find his words.
"I miss you," You did miss him. You missed everything about him. You missed his laugh, his voice, his smile. You missed how it felt when he kissed you. You missed him.
You guys both stared at each other, trying to figure out this disaster of emotions you've both caused. Without thinking you both started leaning in. He pressed his lips against yours slowly and you kissed back. You finally felt something for the first time in months. You always felt everything when you kissed Matt. But before you could lose yourself in the kiss, forget everything that has happened, and run back to him without a thought, you pulled away.
"I'm sorry," You looked at him sadly, trying with everything you had to hold your tears back. You could practically see his heart drop to his stomach. "I want this. I want you. I want us very badly,"
"But you can't," He said, finishing your thoughts which honestly pained you even more. The fact that he knew you. You nodded, the tears falling from your face.
"I still love you, I promise," You whispered.
"I know. I love you too," Matt said, sadly. He pulled you into him and held you. You guys stayed like that for a while. When you were finally able to get a hold of yourself you spoke.
"I just need more time. I wish I didn't but I do. I'm still confused," You said. Matt nodded, acting like he wasn't feeling like he was being stabbed in the chest. "I'm sorry," You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You stood up and walked out of the room leaving him there. He had his eyes shut tightly, praying that it was all just a dream and that when he opened his eyes you'd be sitting there. But when he opened them, sure enough, you were gone.
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He made his way downstairs, you were nowhere in sight. He finally found Nick and Chris right as the countdown started.
"How'd it go?" Nick asked. Matt shook his head.
"Fuck, I'm sorry," Chris said.
"Yeah," Matt said. "Me too,"
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" Everyone began hugging each other but Matt made his way out of the room, wondering how the fuck he managed to lose you once again.
