A THOUSAND AND ONE WORDS

apologies

i'm sorry

i don't even know why

it isn't my fault

there's no way it could've been

but i did anyway

it felt polite

because i didn't feel the same

and i tried

i tried to get the message across

that we were just friends

that's all we ever could be

but no

you had to go fall in love with me

all over again

and i will not force myself to love you

not like last time

i just hate that this is how it ends

how it has to be again

because i truly valued your friendship

but now i have to distance myself

all over again

it's a weird sense of deja vu

creeping over me

haunting my dreams

turning each one to nightmares

yet i still wake up in this harsh reality

where i have to face the consequences

of not loving you back

and a small part of me adores you

in a platonic way

because you read my poems

and loved me anyway

you saw every side of me

and still fell

hell

you wrote me a poem yourself

saying how i was loveable

and i will treasure it

but i cannot bring myself

to pretend

when you deserve so much more

i blocked your account

and i changed my username

i don't want you seeing this

so for that

i'm sorry.