Lansy One Shots

My Lover's Got Humour

Summary: My lover's got humour, She's the giggle at a funeral, Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshipped her sooner

Ship: LunaLovegood/PansyParkinson

All credit goes to MrsInfinity on Ao3

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My lover's got humour

She's the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody's disapproval

I should've worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak

She's the last true mouthpiece

Every Sunday's getting more bleak

A fresh poison each week

"We were born sick," you heard them say it

My church offers no absolutes

She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom."

The only heaven I'll be sent to

Is when I'm alone with you

Xxx

Pansy could pinpoint precisely, with an unwavering degree of certainty, the exact moment in time when she knew she was completely and utterly fucked. It didn't take years of combing over every memory and diminutive detail of her life to figure it out. It all began with the infamous "But, he's there! Potter's there! Someone grab him!" outburst. Everything in her life since had been an undeniable shit-show.

A year and a half had passed since The Great War; everyone finally seemed to be healing and moving on with their lives. Not Pansy Parkinson though; no, Pansy was still dealing with the aftermath and all those lovely healing peoples' unforgiving temperaments. Her father had been carted off to Azkaban along with the Dark Lord's other followers proceeding "The Final Showdown" between Harry and Voldemort. Her familial home was seized immediately, the vaults emptied out, and the Ministry had assumed all assets. Reparations, they claimed, for all her family had done in the wake of Voldemort's journey for absolute power. What happened to the relations of the Death Eaters never seemed to weigh on anyone's minds, they never thought twice about the struggling remnants of the broken families. Her mother, unable to cope with the poverty and shame associated with what her husband had wrought down upon their family, avada'd herself just weeks after the last galleon had been swept from the vaults.

Then a flighty, Fae-like creature came twirling into her life, quite literally, as Pansy was in the midst of being berated by her landlady regarding the rent and everything changed.

Xxx

Pansy had meant to pay all of it, really she had. She also enjoyed eating and, you know, not starving to death, so had been short when rent came due. In the middle of being told what a lowlife individual she was, just like her father had been, one Luna Lovegood came spinning around the corner of the corridor and smacked straight into the cranky old biddy giving Pansy the what-for. She didn't even apologize, just smiled a dazzling display of perfect teeth and full lips at Pansy and kept spinning until she reached a flat five doors down and slipped into the open doorway. Pansy stared after her, gobsmacked. So long had she been lost in thought that it took the bitter old women still splayed on the carpet, booting her in the shin and demanding to be helped up to break the spell finally.

"Bloody hell, you old hag," she exclaimed, rubbing her leg and cursing at the bruise beginning to form. "No need to cripple me too. It's not like I knocked you down on your fat arse!" Whoops , Pansy thought to herself, that was probably getting her evicted. Luckily, the landlady was hard of hearing and missed everything after "Bloody hell" and only demanded Pansy help her up again, which Pansy did reluctantly.