Lansy One Shots

Portrait of a Vampire

Summary: Vampires don't show up in photographs, so Pansy needs a portrait. Luna is the only artist intrepid enough to take the job.

Ship: LunaLovegood/PansyParkinson

All credit goes to strawhouses on Ao3

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Pansy is working on one of her new designs—a set of robes, to try to reach the more traditional wizarding customers, which frankly seems like a lost cause—when Astoria walks into her office.

"We've got a bite," she says. "Sorry. That was gauche. That is to say, someone would like to paint you."

Pansy scowls at her, but it's just for show. As her assistant, Astoria has put up with enough of Pansy's moods, dead bodies, etc. to make jokes.

Pansy is being featured in Time Turner Magazine for her contributions to the wizarding fashion world. She's proud of creating the Glampire label; when she can be fucked to leave the house for a night on the town, she sees chic young witches and wizards wearing her designs as they walk to Apparition points or queue to get into the club. It's flattering to be recognized like this, but it's all been rather complicated by the photoshoot that's supposed to accompany the puff piece. There is the small matter of the fact that, being a vampire, Pansy doesn't show up in photographs.

Astoria had proposed another option: a painted portrait. Very artsy, very avante-garde, a historical favorite of vampires from before the invention of the camera in either the Muggle or wizarding worlds. That's all well and good, except they can't find anyone willing to come to her house and paint her. For all that wizarding society claims to be more accepting in the wake of the second war, certain stigmas remain. If Pansy ever wants to cause a real stir, she'll tell the papers that purebloods taste the same as Muggles. If only the Dark Lord had had a vampire around to set him straight.

"Who is it?" Pansy asks.

"Well," Astoria begins, "I would just ask you to keep an open mind. And recall that we don't have a great many options."

Pansy raises an eyebrow.

"It's Luna Lovegood."

"Lovegood?" Pansy asks. "Merlin, I haven't thought about her in ages. She wants to come here and paint me?"

Astoria shrugs. "She was always an odd one. A talented artist, though. She drew Daphne once, back at Hogwarts, do you remember that?"

Pansy grimaces. She does remember. She remembers herself and Daphne cackling over the drawing, as if it was poorly done. It wasn't; they were just cruel.

She clears her throat. "Fine," she says. "Make it happen. And schedule one of my suitors for the same evening, please, to avoid any unpleasantness."

Astoria smiles. "Consider it done."

The night of the first portrait sitting arrives quickly. Pansy wears one of her own designs: a low-cut, lacy black dress with a corset that makes her tits look fantastic. She figures she might as well lean into the vampire thing, considering that none of Time Turner's readers will be able to ignore it. Marcus is waiting in the cellar for when she gets hungry. If he asks for Pansy too many times, Astoria will Obliviate him and say she'll be right down.

He was never bright to begin with, so she's not particularly concerned about the brain damage.

She sits alone in her office, drumming her fingers on the desk while she waits for Luna to arrive. The church bells over the hill chime nine times. It's silly; war hero or not, Luna Lovegood was never a particularly imposing figure. But there's some part of Pansy that thinks Lovegood could cut to the truth of her in a way she won't like. The old superstition was that vampires don't appear in the mirror or photographs because they don't have souls. If Lovegood paints souls, which she claims to in her artist's blurb, maybe Pansy won't show up on canvas, either.