𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐕𝐨𝐰𝐬

24

An:- dekho, dekho woh aagaya. NAYA CHAPTER AAGAYA.

kaafi quick nahi? Ye chapter pasand aaye toh kripya karke votes kardena. Phir next chapter bhi jaldi dal dungi😼.
HAPPY READING.

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ACHYUT. 

Stilled body. Shaky hands. Rapid intake of breath. 

And this wasn't the first time. I saw her going through this before too and I realised what happened yet I couldn't gather the courage to just ask a simple question ‘what happened?’. 

But maybe it's not about my courage.

Maybe my heart knows that she is not fine, which is clearly evident from the way she reacts, she behaves, she acts, and especially the way she hides herself, protects herself. 

Thousands of thoughts have captured my mind completely. The deadly urge to just wake her up and talk about what's bothering her exactly is spreading in my body like a slow poison. But she looked so beautiful while snuggling in my chest in her sleep that my hand, which was raised to shake her, silently started caressing her hair instead. 

She loves when I caress her hair, massaging her scalp all while. She never said directly but the serene smile is the clear evidence of her being content. 

Years back when she shifted to Mumbai for college and I had wanted to meet her, Satvik bhai had stopped saying to give her space in a new city. And I stopped. Everytime I thought of visiting her, something would stop me. And I didn't. 

The fear of her not recognizing me after all these years took over the sensible thoughts of meeting her. And I didn't. 

I wonder if it was something that happened when she was away from home or something that happened even before she left. 

Her chest rose and fell steadily as she continued taking slow breaths, a different calmness radiating from her body, so different from the state she was in a few hours before. 

It's way past midnight and I should be definitely asleep but I can't help but keep rewinding the visual of her shaking body, trying hard just to breathe some air, as if my brain having its own control continued playing all the moments where she flinched or got scared because of physical proximity. 

The thought of her not being comfortable with physical closeness always stayed in the back of my mind but then the reality of her sleeping peacefully in my arms, calmed my soul, telling exactly that I was probably thinking too much. 

It wasn't my fault either. Being apart from her for so many years, there's a fear, fear of losing her again because I wasn't man enough in the past to contact her and now when I finally found her,I have her and I know how it felt when I held her, I can never risk losing her. Not again. 

It scares me. Being unaware of her past scares me. Not knowing the severity of the scars of her past scares me. And still I'm the same helpless, hopeless idiot who can't do anything to protect her. 

I would happily, readily fight anything and everything to keep her happy and safe and protected but if she won't allow me in, I will be helpless.

Wedding wasn't rushed, we were given time to go out on dates, I was given time to court her but you know how even a lifetime is short to completely know a person you love. A month or two, few dates, family gatherings, Meetups and all would never be enough time to get to know her, not if everyday I get to know something new about her.