So what?//Hayes Grier Fanfic

56- Im not okay

Cams POV:

I've been sat with Hannah on the bed in the guest room for about 3 hours now. It's 4:00 in the morning and she's asleep. Not peacefully though. I can see by the way her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes are scrunched up that she really isn't okay.

I don't think she has been for a while to be honest. She'd always say 'yeah I'm fine' and have a smile on her face.

But i don't think that smile was genuine. I don't think she was ever genuinely happy. And that kills me to know.

I stroked her hair gently as she started to move. Her hands were shaking as I held them safely.

"No" she whispered with a distressed tone in her voice.

"NO" she said louder as a tear managed to squeeze itself from her eye and trickle down her cheek.

"Hannah" I said to see if she was okay. She suddenly sat up breathing heavily as she looked around the room frantically. Her eyes that connected to mine as she let a few tears escape.

A wash of relief filled her face as she gripped onto me trying to calm her breathing down.

I moved myself right next to her and held her in my arms until she calmed down.

"What were you dreaming about?" I asked quietly as I stroked her hair calmingly.

"It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. About what happened in the woods" she replied quietly as she grabbed hold of my hand tightly for safety.

"When I was in the woods, there were these black hooded figures going through the trees. I don't know if they were really there, or if they were in my head. One ran to me and got really close to my face but before it touched me I fell onto the floor and past out. Then when I woke back up i started running again. This time there were voices. Voices telling me to 'come back' and 'We'll find you' whispered in evil voices. They were all in my head" she explained.

I was shocked and scared that she was seeing and hearing things. I hate the thought of her being in those woods on her own and being scared.

I'm supposed to protect her but I couldn't. I can't. This is getting out of hand and I feel like I'm failing her as a brother.

All these years I thought I was protecting her from the world and the bad people in it.

But the only thing I should have been protecting her from was herself.

The only bad people in her life were from her family, and some of her friends and the things inside her head.

"I'm not okay Cameron" she whispered as tears started to flood from her eyes.

"I'm not okay"

"I know. But you will be" I said as my voice cracked. Tears started to put from my eyes as I heard those words pass her lips.

"I love you so much Cameron. You've saved my life so many times. Without you I wouldn't be here. You've always protected me. Like when I go to cross a road and don't see that there's a car coming and the person driving it is going fast so you put your arm out and stop me from being hit. Or when we pass dodgy people doing drugs on the sidewalk and you always make sure your in the middle of me and them. But this time is different. The people I need protecting from aren't driving cars fast down the street, or dealing drugs on the sidewalk. There inside my head. No one can protect me this time. Not even myself. You've been so good to me Cam. Putting up with me for all these years. But I don't how much more I can take before these people and voices win"

She said sobbing into my chest we cried and cried together as we hugged for dear life. This is killing me to hear. But it's killing Hannah to....literally.

"I-I will be by your side Hannah I promise. Your right, i-i can't get rid of the people inside of your head. But I can help you to get rid of them yourself. I don't care if it kills me. I will stay with you and help you through this. I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you. I promise" I said as she looked into my eyes.

I wiped her tear stained cheeks and brushed her hair from her face as she calmed down as did I.

We laid down as I held her in my arms safely. She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head in my neck.

"I love you so much Cameron" she whispered.

"I love you to Hannah Marie" I replied.

"I'll keep you safe. No one will hurt you baby girl. I promise" I whispered kissing the top of her head delicately.

It was then that I started to cry. I cried harder than I ever had before. My baby girl. My beautiful Hannah Marie. So hurt. So scared.

So broken