The Roommate | Yeonbin

Thirty Eight

Soobin was discharged from the hospital and placed in rehab so that he could go back to living a normal life after Kangwoo who almost ruined it. He lost contact with Yeonjun and that was for the best. He moved back in with Jin and went back to school for communications. Five months after everything and his life was fairly back together.

He thought about him though. A lot. Yeonjun did a lot for him and their relationship wasn't without its flaws but he did miss him. He started going to therapy and he would talk about him all the time.

"Still thinking about Yeonjun?" His therapist asked with a small smile.

"I am. I want to get better and see him again but I'm worried he might've found someone else or maybe he thoughts have changed about me. My cousin won't tell me anything and I'm worried."

The woman nodded. "And let's say you did know. Let's say you walk out of here and see Yeonjun on your way home. What would you do? What would you say?"

Soobin thought about it for a while. He had never thought about that.

"I don't know actually. I would want to hug him and tell him how much I've missed him and apologize for everything that happened."

"But why would you apologize when you are the victim?"

"He shouldn't have gotten involved. I didn't want him to or anyone for that matter." He sighed and rubbed his head. "Whenever I think about the situation I think about everything I did wrong. Jin told me he was bad news and I didn't listen, I agreed to be his boyfriend, to move in with him...then sneaking around with Yeonjun treating him like that when I knew I wouldn't leave Kangwoo. I did so many things wrong."

"Soobin," she closed her notebook. "Kangwoo was manipulative, abusive physically and emotionally. You are young and even younger when you met him. Dealing with someone like that isn't easy and you should never blame yourself. No one teaches young people the signs of a toxic person a lot of those lessons are taught in person and it's a tough lesson to get through...and some people don't. You almost didn't. You feel guilty, we're gonna work on not blaming yourself."

Soobin nodded and listened to her talk. Their session went over almost an hour but thankfully she didn't have a full day. After the session he stood up and hugged her tightly, thanking her for today because it truly was insightful and another step towards him feeling worth something again. She walked him out and he took a taxi home.

He took a shower and started to make lunch. All in silence, he didn't turn on the TV, he didn't play any music, he didn't say anything to himself. He just cooked and listened to the gentle boiling and sizzling of the stove.

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back." He greeted Jin as he started making his plate. "Wash your hands and come eat."

"It smells good." He said as he went to the sink and washed his hands. "Looks amazing too."

Soobin sat their plates on the table and they ate together. Jin hummed as he ate.

"It's really good thank you." Soobin didn't say anything. "Soobin?"

His head shot up as he looked at him. "Yes?"

"...what's on your mind?"

Soobin shook his head. "Nothing hyung. Im distracted that's all."

Jin sat his chopsticks down. "How was therapy today?"

"Fine."

"Soobin," he reached across the table and held his hand. "I am here for you. I'm on your side don't treat me like the enemy. You don't have to shut me out."

"That's not my intentions." He sighed and looked away from him. "Hyung...I miss Yeonjun and it's been months and I wished that I would be better by now but I'm not. There's still a hole there...left from both of them."

"That's normal. You went through something that I couldn't even imagine. You went through it alone but hear me when I say, you should get better for you. Grow to be the person you want to be year from now. Yeonjun can be a goal but you...you are everything, you should always be your goal. Understand?"

Soobin smiled and nodded. "Yes...I have a lot to learn still."

"Me too."

With Yeonjun....

Yeonjun was at Yoongi's bar having a drink.

"Still nothing?" He asked. 

"You know the rules." He said as he was wiping down a glass. "How are you doing?"

"I miss him."

"I know. You two are young and you both have been through some shit. You're so worried about him, what about yourself? Your goals and dreams?"

Yeonjun shrugged. "I've never amounted to much hyung. I have a record and I mean...look at me." He laughed a little. "I've cut ties, burned bridges. There's no future for me."

"Nonsense. That's complete bullshit and you know it. What you're saying is an excuse because you want to try but you're scared, scared that you'll try and fail and your fears would be real."

Yoongi sat down next to him and poured them both another drink.

"A few years ago I got into this really bad accident. It was my fault, I was driving angry. A stupid fight with my parents I can't even remember what it was about anymore. The person was left in really bad shape, I visited him everyday while he was in a coma. I stopped eating, I couldn't sleep, I wished and even prayed that it was me on that bed and not him."

"Did he wake up?" Yeonjun asked. 

At that moment they heard a bell indicating someone walked in.

"Hi hyung."

"Right on time, I was just talking about you." And Yoongi smiled. Yeonjun was surprised.

"Oh, hopefully good things." The guy smiled at Yeonjun and hugged Yoongi before kissing his cheek.

"He did wake up." Yoongi said. "And we talked and we had a lot of differences but he forgave me."

"How could I not? I got hit by a hottie." The guy laughed and Yeonjun smiled a little at Yoongi's embarrassed expression.

"It was nice to hear that he forgave me but I didn't believe it, I believed that I deserved nothing but with work, healing, talking, and surrounding myself with people who would always root for me. That's how I changed. I'm rooting for you Yeonjun."

"Thank you hyung."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*