Between the pages

Chapter 8 Papers and Phone calls

The papers were in your hands as you read through them, a frown slowly spreading across your face. With a sigh, you folded them up and slipped them into your bag, the weight of their contents sinking in. You walked to the door, hesitating for a moment before you opened it, the cool air greeting you as you stepped into the uncertainty of the silence awaiting you.

You enter the house and slump down on the floor against the door, keeping your face buried in your knees as you were trying to breathe through the heavy information trying to sink in. Receiving the news the first time left you in denial... You constantly told yourself it was just a dream—But you weren't really able to convince yourself, no? It was real.. all of it is.

After a few moments passed, you found yourself mindlessly scrolling through your contacts. Your thumb paused over Giyu's number, but you remained silent, staring at it for a long time. Without thinking, you pressed delete, watching his contact vanish from your phone. Then, with a deep breath, you opened your mom's number, your finger hovering over the screen as a mix of emotions swirled inside you.

You dialed it and waited for the ringing to stop but when it did it only went to voice-mail

As you close your phone you stay like that for the whole morning. Everything felt suffocating, it was like the walls were closing in leaving no room for even the slightest wiggle.

You chose not to dial his number. After all, you both didn't really know each other that well yet. The last thing you wanted was to dump the weight of everything on him, especially when things between you had just started to feel like they were finally falling into place.

Besides... He's already starting to believe that it's all starting to go away. All you had to do was keep up this charade.

—-----------—

Two days passed, and you didn't talk to Giyu. Even when he tried calling, all you did was ignore it. Each ring felt heavier than the last, but you couldn't bring yourself to answer.

You ignore each text, each voicemail and just continued with life from within your house just like how it used to be before you two formed a 'bond'

Right now, you're eating breakfast while reading a book. It had been almost a week since you last slept, and at this point, you didn't care much anymore. The exhaustion had become a constant companion, but it no longer felt as pressing. You went through the motions, numb to the passing days, just trying to keep busy.

It didn't matter if you would care, nothing would change.

As you continued to flip through the pages of your book you remembered you had to pick up some groceries today—You didn't have anything else on your list apart from having to return there in a few days time. To sum it up... you didn't even need to get a whole lot of groceries since after a few days you won't be home anymore.

Reluctantly, you pulled yourself away from the quiet enjoyment of your book and made your way to get ready for your trip to pick up groceries. You reached for the jacket that had been lazily draped over the back of the chair, slipping it on as you rummaged around for your sling bag, half-distracted by the thought of the mundane errand ahead.

Your turned on with a short buzz and was followed by a pestering ring which you could easily decipher to be someone calling. As soon as you pick up your phone and click it open to peek at the mystery caller, you stiffened once the screen lit up. It was only Giyu but you still couldn't bring yourself to answer his calls or his texts... Guilt clouded your mind and yet you still swiped him away.

—-----------—

While you were picking up groceries, you spaced out multiple times, your mind drifting far from the task at hand. The only thing that snapped you out of it was the occasional passerby checking on you, their concerned glances pulling you back to reality. You had blocked out the overwhelming information, not wanting to face it, but it still crept back into your thoughts every now and then, like an unwelcome visitor you couldn't shake.

Your parents never picked up the calls, and you didn't have any friends to turn to. The only person you ever talked to was Giyu, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him what was really going on. You didn't have the courage, or maybe you just didn't want to burden him with it. So, you kept it all to yourself, the silence around you growing louder with every passing day.

You thought about his possible reactions to the information—all of which seemed to end with negative outcomes. There were times when you came so close to telling him, when the words felt like they were right on the tip of your tongue. The only thing keeping you from speaking was that one single button. Yet, in the end, you always found yourself in the same place—staring at his contact, tapping it once, twice, before ultimately closing the screen without saying a word.

Maybe he'll hate you after the amount of times you've ignored him? Maybe he'll grow tired of asking.. and constantly texting to only receive no reply... These thoughts plagued your mind, lingering there like the last note of an instrument. To be honest it scared you, the thought of it had you quietly contemplating life, questioning everything...

Would he stop trying? Would he leave you in this crumbling void you yourself created?

You sigh as you head to the register and paid for everything, then.. you started heading back home

You were walking along the sidewalk as you kept rejecting the calls that came from Giyu, you just kept staring at your phone as you watched each ring get dismissed by your hand

You didn't even pay attention when you walked—You were just focused on rejecting the calls

After a while of walking, you arrive at the familiar spot, the one that had left a marker on your front door. You stood there, eyes lingering on the call coming in—another one you almost rejected. But before you could press decline, a voice cut through the silence from right in front of you.

"Don't reject that call..." His voice sounded just as exhausted as you felt. You looked up, meeting his gaze, and saw the familiar boy standing there, an upset frown tugging at his lips. Guilt gnawed at you, tightening in your chest, and you quickly looked away, unable to meet his eyes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why aren't you answering my calls? You haven't even been to the coffee shop"

A heavy silence hung between you. Unlike before.. There was no escape from this one. There was no button waiting for you to confirm your decision, there was no screen to hide behind that masked the weight you chose to bury away.

You walked past him, took the steps up to your door, and took a deep breath in preparing yourself for the inescapable situation awaiting you... "Let's go inside.." You tell him without turning around to greet him with the usual brightness of the smile that always came so easily before.

You open the door for him, allowing him inside the familiar atmosphere of your house where shared memories of happier moments echoed along the walls.

As you set the groceries down on the table, your mind wandered, and suddenly you remembered—the paper, still sitting on the coffee table in the living room. The edges were crumpled slightly, as if you had thrown it there in a rush, too afraid to deal with it. The reality of it hit you again, and guilt crept in, heavier than before.

The worst part was that... It was also the first thing his eyes caught sight of...