"Katy, hun" Tamra my assistant said trying to get me up.
"No" I snapped at her.
"Katy, please, this is your last photoshoot for a while, I promise this will be the last time I'll wake you up in a while. Just come on" Tamra said in attempt to wake me up, and succeeded.
"Fine." I said bluntly.
I sat up far enough so she could see my face.
"Oh, Katy" Tamra kneeled down to get eye level with my face
"Your eyes-" she tried to finish her sentence but I interrupted.
"No. Just stop. I'm fine." My eyes may have been red and puffy but I didn't want that to make Tamra worry.
"Ok, um, I'll be in the car. Be down in 10, we have breakfast in the car for you." Tamra said
She walked out of the room and I slumped up and slouched to my dresser. I grabbed some skinny jeans and a pink tank top. I got my black leather jacket on and got some shoes on. I didn't even bother to put makeup on because I was gonna get makeup on already, at the shoot. I got a granola bar from the cupboard and left.
~~~~~
I was finally done with, I don't even know whos company. Tamra drove my car here with her girlfriend Erika
I didn't really feel like going home so I just drove around. I drove until I saw a little peer. I stopped the car and got out. I sat down on the edge of the peer and took off my shoes. I let my feet go in the cold water and my body instantly felt chilled. I closed my eyes and thought about the unquestionable. I thought about how when we go to sleep for like 10 hours it only feels like 2 seconds, and how fish can breath water. My mind is all over the place and all of the sudden it stopped at one topic, may I add a very sensitive one: John.
I try to stop thinking about it but I can't. I can't stop thinking about our argument we had over nothing. I can't stop thinking about what happened. I had said a few words, he said a few words and then I said the 3 worst words a person could say: I.hate.you.
I hated myself for saying that but I didn't know what to do. He was so mad and I don't even remember why. I felt so bad.
A couple hours pass and my back is staring to hurt so I leave. I get in my car and blast my radio. My phone is in my bag so I dont think much of it. I speed down the street while listening to music. I finally reach my house and pull in the driveway. I get in side and hop on the couch. I turned on the news and started watching it. A few minutes pass and I start dozing off. I keep waking myself up trying not to sleep but I'm to weak. I grant myself the sleep I've been dreading for the past few days.
~~~~~
I wake up with a cold sweat and a blistering head ache. I find the energy to go upstairs. I get up, grab my purse and head upstairs. I set my purse on the end of the bed and take my clothes off. I get my pajamas out of the dresser, I just get shorts and a tank top because I'm really hot.
After I finish putting them on I crawl into bed. I remember that I have to put my phone on the charger so I reach down to the end of the bed and grab my purse. I dig through it and finally find my phone. Out of habit I press the main button and, expecting to see nothing, I see everything. I have loads of text messages, missed calls, and voice mails. I start to get worried.
I check my text messages first
Tamera: "Katy where are you? You need to pick up your phone immediately!"
Shannon: "KATY! Where are you this is an emergency, I've sent you 4 messages and I've called you, I don't even know how many times, Katy this is serious."
I was now really worried and I didn't know what to do.
I checked my voice mails and to my surprise I had a bunch. I couldn't bare to hear them but I know I have to.
Shannon: "hey um Katy. It's really late and, I don't know, but I do know that you would want to hear this: its John. Hes-"
The voice mail ends there and I have mixed emotions. I dont really know how to react.
I set my phone on my chest and think. John John ,John. John... I finally reach the breaking point to where I realize everything that's happening. Something is wrong and I don't know what it is. I listen to another voice mail and this on tells me about where her is but not what's happening.
I'm scared of what's gonna happen. I'm scared of what will happen. Im scared
