Chenford Story ✔️

60

Lucy's POV

I wake up the next morning hoping that I will be different. That suddenly I can live my life again and actually breathe instead of struggling to take even a small gasp.

I felt like I was drowning.
And depending on how badly I was missing my unborn baby, sometimes it felt like drowning would be such a bad thing.

I knew that suicidal ideations were a bad thing, especially for cops who had to make the decision between running into gunfire and not saving someone.
The thing was, now, no matter I odds, I would run into the shots.

Tim had taught me how bad it was, that day when he was almost exposed to a deadly virus and told me that he would rather kill himself than let it kill him. Not that the two situations were at all similar.

Tim somehow still loved me. He knew something was wrong with me last night.
He just wanted to help.
And I hated that I wasn't making it better for him. That everything I was doing just made it worse for him. But it was right for me.
Maybe that was selfish.

I remembered saying those words 'i love you more than you will ever realise',
just before trying to commit suicide.
And back then being so sure if what I wanted.
And then surviving by some miracle.

I would need to take another pregnancy test in a few days, to check the medication was working. I already knew I would hate taking that test as much as I did the previous one. I was staring a small collection under my bed, each test in a small clear bag and labeled.

The one when I find out I was pregnant with Juniper, the one I took a few days ago, and an empty bag for the next test I need to take.

I was surprised I hadn't cried more. Seeing either a positive or negative result would be heartbreaking.
I had gone to more therapy sessions in the recent days. One on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday every week. They weren't helping though, mostly because I refused to talk I could only assume. My parents had given my enough therapy advice already and now their in prison so clearly that didn't work out as intended.
And then I had pushed Tim to date my next therapist, she was nice but after her and himself break up, I could only gather it would be a least slightly awkward.

Tim knocked on my door holding a plate of pancakes. They smelled absolute delicious like usual with Tim's cooking but I could barely even touch them.
Everyone was making me feel absolutely awful.

Tim's POV

I came in with breakfast.
Lucy was still curled on her bed, like she had been for the last few weeks.
I sighed.
"Luce?"
She looked over to me slightly and I could just see the pain behind her eyes.
"IA... they're giving you two months or they're firing you..."

I wasn't even sure what Lucy was feeling, she didn't seem happy, I didn't think she would be. But she didn't exactly look sad either.
Everything with her was just indifference now.
Not that I blamed for even for a second, she had literally been tortured.

Lucy just curled back into herself.
Some of her wounds were practically healed, on the outside except for the obvious casts she seemed fine.

Lucy's POV

Fired?
If I didn't get better in two months they were going to fire me?
But... but I was a good cop? Right?

I started getting up.
I would go back to work today if I meant they didn't fire me.
I hoisted myself up and into my walker.
"What are you doing Lucy?"
Tim seemed confused at my getting out of bed, something I hadn't done willingly in at least a few days.

I started making me way out of my room, not caring that I was still in my pajamas.
I pulled myself into Tim's truck, putting my walker next to me and hoping Tim would sit beside me to drive me.

Slowly I input the direction of the LAPD Mid Wilshire station and Tim sat in the driver's seat next to me.
"You want to go to the station?"
Tim seemed equally confused and worried for me.
I nodded and Tim turned the ignition on before pulling out of the driveway and heading to the station.
He Probably assumed I was going to argue my case, to say why I should be fired so soon at least.

Tim's POV

I pulled up to the station parking area and got Lucy's walker out of the back for her to use.

As we walked through the doors all eyes were ok Lucy.
I could tell Angela and Nyla were doing their best to continue with their work, knowing Lucy would hate all the attention.

Roll call would be in a few minutes and all these officers would have to go and leave Lucy alone.

Lucy continued into Grey's office and pulled out a pen and notepad.
'i want to go undercover.'

That was all she wrote.
"What?! No Lucy you can't go undercover! You almost died, you can still barely walk, you haven't said a word! There is no way you're going undercover"
Grey looked up at Lucy, he didn't seem as completely appalled as me.
"Grey?! You can't seriously be considering this?!"
Grey held his hand up to silence me.
"You mean to catch Emmet and Rosalind correct?"
I wanted to scream at Grey for even entertaining the idea.
Lucy nodded.
Grey continued,
"We'll make a public statement saying that you're alive and well then send you somewhere alone. There's no way Emmet and Rosalind won't want to try and finish you off. They've tried and failed to kill you three times, there's no way they're passing it up."
Lucy smiled slightly.
Something she hadn't done in weeks.

"I'll make arrangements"
What?!
No Grey couldn't send Lucy undercover, not like this!