All At Once

DeRealization

Saturday 7th December,
Waking up drenched in sweat I realized it was all just a dream, I wasn't just getting to know Lane for the first time, I had in fact slept with him and we were in a situationship now, while I am still with Trevor.
"Sister are you okay?" Amanda asked next to me.
"Yes I'm fine" I said. I picked up my phone to check what month it was, we were already in December, not September. 'How could one short afternoon sleep feel so real?' I asked myself. I was no longer using my rickety android, I was now using an apple Trevor got for me.
I got down from my bed trying to decipher everything. Noah and I were talking again, after I blocked him in September, he called me one afternoon a week later after our last paper
"Hey, been a while" He said
"Yeahh" I managed to reply
"How have you been Belle, I missed you"
It was true afterall that he couldn't get over me and I loved to see that, lol how wicked of me, we continued talking and stopped after a few weeks cause he kept on accusing me of ruining his life by leaving, what did he expect I do, sit back and wait for him? Oh pleaseeeeee. But now we're talking again, infact I'm going to his church on tomorrow, I was invited, it would be the first time seeing him since September and the first time talking to him face to face in 9 months.
I stared out my window, the dream was such a vivid review of my years, I looked at the mirror to make sure I was still alive, not dead. After confirming, I picked up my phone. Lane and I have fucked twice. We liked each other, it was all fun and games until he fell in love and we can't be together, but at the same time we can't stand seeing each other with other people, it was now a crazy situation and we haven't even spoken in a while, I exhaled 'I'm so done with this nigga' I said to myself and deleted his number.
I went ahead to delete Franks and some others from school. You know, if someone told February Belle that she will become a low key man eater she would never believe it, I changed for the worse, it only seems good cause I'm rich now. If only Trevor was loyal, now I'm no different from him.
Trevor and I are still together but for months now he has been broke and I have been helping him, it's literally few days to Christmas and he still has nothing, neither do I anymore and I'm fucking tired, luckily enough I have other sources but I still pray for him tho, failure is not an option.
School has started again but I haven't resumed, I'm leaving it till next year, truth is I'm tired of school and now I don't have money, that's the worse place to go to, so hopefully by January things would have gone back to normal then I'd start again.