Dear Lando - Book Two

𝟺𝟷 ♡ Dark Red

Dark Red By Steve Lacy

Azalea hurried into her home, her heart beating faster than usual. She went straight to the wooden table by the window, where an envelope had sat, untouched, for months. She picked it up carefully, staring at the blank surface before finally writing on it with a deliberate hand:

Lando
I'm sorry for the delay in sending this to you, but I hope it finds you well.

It had taken her far too long to send this to him, but now that she was doing it, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Without hesitation, she grabbed her keys and slipped out the door, heading to Lando's apartment.

When she arrived, she hesitated briefly before placing the envelope on his doorstep. She gave a soft knock and walked away, disappearing around the corner before he had the chance to open the door.

Inside his apartment, Lando sat slouched on the couch, his eyes unfocused as they drifted around the dimly lit space. The vibrant energy the place once held seemed drained, replaced with an oppressive stillness. The flowers Lana had arranged were wilting, and the air felt heavy without her. It was like the entire apartment had gone dark in her absence.

A knock at the door startled him, and for a fleeting moment, his heart leaped, hoping it might be Lana. He rushed to the door, but when he opened it, no one was there. His excitement faded instantly.

As he glanced down, his eyes caught sight of the envelope. It was addressed to him in Azalea's familiar handwriting, with a small note apologizing for the delay. Intrigued and slightly apprehensive, he picked it up and walked back inside, sitting down at the dining table to read.

Carefully, he unfolded the letter, his breath hitching as his eyes scanned the first line.

Dear Lando,

I find myself at a loss for words, a sentiment that's not common for someone who lives their life in the fast lane. Yet, here I am, grappling with the weight of emotions that have lingered, unspoken, between us.

Thank you. Those two simple words feel inadequate to convey the depth of gratitude I hold for you. In the midst of this whirlwind, your unwavering support has been my anchor. Your friendship has been a sanctuary, a haven of laughter and solace that I desperately needed.

The hours we've spent together, the shared jokes, the camaraderie—they are etched in my heart. Your laughter, once a melody of joy, now echoes in the recesses of my mind, a bittersweet reminder of the moments we've cherished.

I need you to understand that your kindness, your selfless support, and the sacrifices you've made for me haven't gone unnoticed. It's as if you've been a lighthouse, cutting through the storm, guiding me through the darkness.

There's a heaviness in my heart as I write these words to you. I never deserved a friend like you, Lando. Your presence, your understanding, have been a source of strength when I felt weakest. In moments of solitude, I reflect on how you've been a constant, a steady hand in the chaos.

And now, as I grapple with choices that shape the course of my life, it breaks my heart to acknowledge that I'm choosing a path that doesn't include you in the same way.

Your understanding, your acceptance of my decisions, mean more than you can fathom. It's a testament to the depth of our connection, one that I fear will be altered by the choices I make. I didn't deserve a friend like you, and the guilt that accompanies this realization is a burden I carry.

I've chosen a path that involves Max, a decision that comes with its own set of complexities. I hope you understand that it doesn't diminish what we've shared. You've been my confidant, my supporter, and the thought of not having you in the same way pains me.

Thank you, Lando, for being the extraordinary friend that you are. Every shared moment, every bit of advice, every smile we've exchanged has left an indelible mark on my soul. I'm thankful for you, even as the sadness of change looms.

By the time he reached the additional note at the end, Lando felt the lump in his throat tighten.

May life lead you to someone who sees the extraordinary soul you are, who cherishes the laughter in your eyes and the warmth in your heart. You deserve nothing less than the happiness you've generously given me. Wishing you a future filled with love, Lando, because a heart as genuine as yours deserves to find its counterpart in the grand tapestry of life.

Azalea

Lando let the letter fall onto the table, his head dropping into his hands. The closure he didn't realize he needed had been there all along. He took a shaky breath and leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling.

It all started to make sense—why he felt so different lately, why he had been able to let so much go. His thoughts shifted to Lana. Without her, he felt just as dark and empty as he had before.

His gaze drifted to his journal sitting on the coffee table. For the first time in weeks, he picked it up, running his fingers over the cover before flipping it open. As he stared at the blank page, a realization struck him: He hadn't needed to write his feelings here since Japan.

Because with Lana, he had finally been able to say them out loud.

So deciding to take a page from Azalea's book, he began to write in his journal. 

Dear Lana,

There's so much I need to say, but I don't know where to start. So, I'll start with the truth: I miss you.

I've always seen myself as the stars—lighting up the night sky, distant but admired from afar. I've spent so much of my life trying to shine brightly, trying to be enough on my own. But stars, no matter how beautiful, are incomplete without a constellation to connect them. A constellation brings form and meaning to the stars, turning scattered points of light into something tangible, something real.

You are my constellation, Lana. You gave my scattered pieces purpose. With you, everything felt connected. You highlighted the beauty and complexity of what I couldn't see in myself. You grounded me in a way I didn't realize I needed.

At first, I thought it was the public façade that tied us together—the fake smiles, the staged photos. But somewhere along the way, it became real. You became real. You became the one thing I looked forward to in a sea of chaos. And now that you're gone, the light I thought I had feels dim. The stars feel lonely without their constellation.

I can't go on pretending anymore, Lana. Not about how much you mean to me. You deserve someone who will say these things out loud, who will remind you every day how extraordinary you are. I want to be that person. I want to be enough for you, the way you've always been more than enough for me.

I don't know if this will change anything, but I needed you to know. Because you are the person who brought meaning to my stars.

Lando

He stared at the words, his heart pounding as he reread them. It wasn't perfect, but it was raw and honest—everything he'd held back for so long. He knew Lana deserved more than words on a page, though.

He cleaned himself up and went straight to the florist.