The adventures of Hanna Walker

Idle Fantasies

Selena has been craving grapes lately. And Benny has been running to the supermarket to get all varieties.  He doesn't know which one tastes better, since it all tastes the same to him. Benny is having a breakthrough in his career. His brilliant song writing earn him the grammies. And he was happy for it because that means he's a more worthy man in Selena's eyes. Plus, he can manage more than a second summer home for them.
When Benny brings home the grapes, Selena is watching TV. The plot about teenagers falling in love somehow reminds her of Justin and Hanna, in those good old days. She suddenly begins to imagine Justin's arms around her, and his warmth, his comforting words washed over her like waves. Only memories. And the laughs she shared with Hanna. If only they are in contact now. It's not like Selena didn't reach out. She called Hanna after her wedding to check in on how she's doing. But Hanna was in the middle of a surgery and couldn't pick up.  Afterwards she called again and ask her old friend how she has been doing, only be met with a bland response of niceties, no details, no clues to any emotions that may have been.
But Selena is happy with Benny. He is funny, he is supportive, he is everything she wanted in a man. Even though he is not the best looking man, people respect him for his talents.
Meanwhile, Hanna is struggling to maintain a crumbling front of nonchalance. She almost called Selena so many times, but when they talked, all she managed was to not let tears roll down her face. She cannot imagine a life without Selena, and now that she is no longer in her life, she can't help but feel betrayed and lonely. But she refuse to take Selena's outbursts of kindness as signs of love. Sometimes she has wild dreams of drowning herself in the river. But she can't because she can swim. And she is increasingly independent emotionally now that work has taken up so much of her life. She just hope everything goes well for Selena and Benny.
Selena and Benny never argues. It's admittedly not a good sign. Real couples are truthful to each other and because they are humans they would always argue. But not Selena and Benny. Benny put up with anything Selena says, and Selena has only the best intentions for Benny. It's amazing how their relationship is perfect on paper. But nobody knows that what Benny really want, is Selena's fame.
Selena had made a name for herself as a writer. And she has a loyal fan base that does her bidding and idolizes everything she says. When Benny marries Selena, a part of that fame transfer to Benny so that his songs becomes more popular. Benny figures as long as he can keep Selena satisfied, money will keep rolling in.
One day, a rubber gets into their house, and has a knife on Selena's head. "Give me all your money!" The robber tells Benny. Benny's face turns white and he runs out of the house, trying to call the police. The robber slashes Selena's neck and Selena falls down in a pool of blood.
The theif then chases down Benny and kills him. Then he takes all the valuables in the house and escaped. The police and medics found Selena an hour later, a breath away from death. They rushes her to the hospital, but there's a lack of blood. Hanna was surprised to see Selena as her patient. She never imagined she'd see her again. She donated some of her own blood to Selena and quickly performed a successful surgery.
Selena was in a coma for days. And Hanna would leave a small gift by her bedside every day in the hope that she will wake up from the vegetative state. She sits by the bedside and tells Selena how she misses her, remembering everything they lived through. Everyone tries to convince Hanna that Selena will never wake up, but Hanna ignores them. One day, Hanna is holding Selena's hand and crying, and Selena opens her eyes.
"Selena, you're alive!" Hanna gasped. Selena says"what happened? I feel pain everywhere. " Hanna has to tell her the entire story and how Benny died. Selena remembers everything again and tears flows down her eyes. "I'd never thought id see you again." She says. Hanna says,"same." And she wipes away Selena's tears.
Hanna can't be sure she's friends or anything to Selena, but she sticks by her in the messy aftermath and accompany her to police stations. Selena never says thank you to Hanna, not because she is not thankful, but because she knows Hanna will always have her back because of the bond they shared. Hanna didn't ask for anything and is not expecting anything either. Selena is heartbroken by the betrayal and death of Benny, and feels dead and numb inside. Hanna would visit her and brings her small gifts, and they would cry over coffee. It's obvious to everyone that Selena is depressed. Hanna is happy to be back to Selena in a way, but heartbroken that she is so sad too. Hanna feels sad for Selena, she doesn't want to see her cry. But what hurts her the most is how much Selena loves Benny, despite everything he did. Selena would go to bars with a crowd of people, and stares at men that looks like Benny. She would visit Benny's family, and she sobs uncontrollably at Benny's funeral, and swears to bring the robber to justice. On a random morning, she wakes up without Benny by her side and feels so desperate that she clings to Benny's jacket and cries in the scent of him. She talks to Benny in her dreams, in her prayers and to Hanna, and all her friends, so much so that they are all getting sick of her and think that she should move on. She never wonders why Benny run, she is certain it's a primal instinct, adrenaline. And in death, Benny remains a perfect man, and Selena, forever his widow.
Hanna tries everything to cheer Selena up but she fails. She tries gifts, jokes, movies, trips, nothing quite work. Selena doesn't even enjoy chocolate cake anymore. Finally Hanna gives up, and leaves Selena to wallow in sorrow. Little did Hanna knows, Selena has been comtemplating suicide for a long time, and has picked a day to carry it out.
On that day, Selena gets awfully drunk on Benny's favourite Brendy and stubles home. Fills the bathtub with water and takes out the sleeping pills. It's enough dosage to kill an elephant. Hanna is worried about Selena suddenly, she only leaves Selena because Selena is behaving like a child. She calls Selena's cell phone and asks her what is she doing. Selena lies and says she is watching a movie. Hanna asks her what movie. She says Benny's favourite one, and Hanna gets a bit jealous and almost hangs up the call, but out of love she says, "remember our favourite movie? Despicable me 3. The minions are hilarious, we should see it again sometimes. Why don't we get together tonight, I'm close to your house." Selena takes a shaky breath and grabs her phone tigher, knuckles white,"No, I just want to see this movie in my house. Where my husband used to be." And Hanna detect something is out of place, Selena sounds like she's in a very dark and distant place, she's even more worried now. "Then I'll come and watched it with you. I brought white wine. What could be his favourite movie?" "The favourite." Hanna thinks for a while and says, "look sel, I'll watch this incredibly boring movie with you because I care about you. If you don't care about yourself, remembers you're more than what you think you are capable of, and it always gets better. And we are going to walk this road together." Selena chokes with tears and says"it's too late, you can't save me." Hanna panics and asks what are you doing, but Selena cuts the phone. Hanna pedals down on the gas and calls the building management, and the neightbour breaks in the door and the bathroom door too and sees Selena about to swollow the pills. The neighbour, who's a middle aged man called Ken, grabs the bottle away from Selena. Selena is suddenly ashamed of being naked in the shower and asks for Ken to get out. But Ken was afraid to let Selena be alone. He refuses to get out unless Selena won't do anything to herself. "What can I possibly do?" Selena screams in frustration. Just when they are in a Mexican stand off, Hanna arrives and brings Selena clothes. Ken gets out thankfully. Hanna is in tears and shouts incoherent curses and accuses Selena of being an idiot. Before Selena can put on the clothes though, Hanna grabs her hair and kisses her. Selena cries too and responded. "Why are you here? I told you not to come." Selena says. "I almost lost you, how can you do this to me? You're everything to me since the moment I see you."Hanna says. Selena cannot feel love, in her state, but she felt loved, and that is the beginning.