Idols and Anchors [Austin Carlile]

Chapter 6 - The Abandoned

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT MY FRIENDS.

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My heart needs to shut up. Just do what you're supposed to do and pump blood. I know you're tired of feeling pain but this is for the better. I know you want to be in sync with his heartbeat while I'm in his grasp. I want it too. A lot. But my head is right. If he broke my heart once, what makes me think he won't do it again. I could really use some advice. What do I do?

The second day of Warped is coming to an end. I've been sitting in the bus thinking about what to do the entire day. I didn't go out and even risk seeing him. Alan came to visit me today, knowing I'd be here. He just talked to me for a few minutes before their set. Before leaving the bus Alan turned back and told me to trust my heart. I really don't know what to do anymore.

I just want to leave and never risk seeing him again. But then again, I want to be by his side forever. I miss his hugs, I miss the scent of his cologne, I miss everything about him. I even remember the time we got really drunk and kissed. For just a few seconds his perfect lips were on mine. My heart raced and nothing was ever more perfect than that moment. Even if we were still pissy drunk, I felt it. I felt the sparks, the fireworks, the stars. I felt the butterflies rush to my stomach. I feel that every time I look at him.

I don't want to feel this what if anymore. But I don't want to be hurt. Fuck my life. What do I do? Maybe I can talk to someone once we get to the venue in the morning. For now I'll just fall asleep, and get out of reality for a while. Hopefully a few hours, which seem like just a few minutes, could help me.

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"Hailey... Hailey. Why won't you forgive me?"

"Austin? I'm sorry. I want to but-"

"Save it. You're breaking my heart here."

"Austin, please. I'm sorry. I miss you, and I love you. I do want you back. I want every single part of you back."

"Prove it."

I ran up to him and hugged him as tight as I ever hugged him. I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my back. It was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. I let go of Austin's neck and felt lightheaded. I touched my back and found myself bleeding, a lot. I turn to look at Austin and see a smirk on his face.

"I've missed you Hails."

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I woke up suddenly to find Tony opening the curtains to my bunk. "Can I help you?" He chuckled slightly.

"Just checking on you. You were crying last night. So I wanted to see if you were alright now." I was crying? I was asleep the entire time. I don't remember crying, or waking up, or anything really. I don't even remember what I dreamt about.

I got up and started walking to the front of the bus. I knew the guys would probably be making breakfast. "Mmm, what smells so-" I stopped walking to find Austin and Alan sitting on the couches. I literally just stood there awkwardly for a good three minutes. I didn't know what to do.

"Hey Hailey." Alan finally stood up and gave me a hug. I didn't hug back. I kept standing there, wondering what the hell he was doing here.

"We came over to have breakfast with you guys." I started walking finally, making my way to the kitchen to pour me a cup of coffee. I was stirring in the sugar, when I heard footsteps walking towards me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around. "Sorry." Tony said pulling me into a hug. I smiled at him and hugged back. I grabbed a donut walking out the kitchen, and sat at the table in the lounge with Alan and Austin.Alan then got up to go to the back room with the guys, leaving Austin and I alone.

We sat there in silence for quite sometime. I didn't really know what to say to him.

"Hails," he finally said, breaking the silence. He's been the only person to ever call me that. I'm surprised he actually refer to me as that. I turned my head to look at him. "I'm sorry. For everything. I never me-"

"It's okay." Wait what did you just say Hailey? Austin looked at me with raised eyebrows and just looked utterly confused.

"What?" Don't you repeat it Hailey. He put you through too much for you to forgive him.

"You put me through hell Austin. I just want you to know that. No matter what I will always remember that. I don't know how things will be after this but I'm done trying to force myself to be okay when I know I'm not. Maybe if I let you back in, things can start getting better with my life. I'm really hesistant to bu-"

I felt the warm sensation run through my cheeks instantly. I felt the butterflies rush to my stomach. I felt the heat of his lips on mine.

What is going on?

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Thank you for waiting patiently guys.

Sorry about the wait, I had lots of things to catch up with.

And spring break came and I hung out with amazing people.

And ugh it was amazing but shush.

Um yeah thank you for all the feedback I love it ^-^

You guys are awesome.

OMFG I HAVE 21 DAYS LEFT UNTIL MAY 4 WHICH IS THE OM&M AND ADTR CONCERT

But comment or vote please c:

Love you guys thanks