Idols and Anchors [Austin Carlile]

Chapter 9 - Repeating Apologies

I looked everywhere for him and couldn't find him anywhere. I went to all our friend's buses. I looked on stage. I looked at other band's sets to see if he was standing side stage but I couldn't find him anywhere. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to see a movie tonight, but how can I ask him that if he's nowhere to be found. I couldn't even find Alan, or Phil, or Tino, or Aaron. Where the hell could they all be?

If they're playing some prank on me, this isn't funny. It's actually pissing me off truthfully. How can we fix our friendship if he isn't around? Are they avoiding me? Are they trying to upset me? Where can they be?

I walked around for what seemed to be a couple hours. If this was hide & seek, I would've quit hours ago. But I'm actually worried that something happened to one of them. I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What if something happened to Austin? I started tearing up. Who am I kidding? This tough act isn't getting me anywhere. I was never like this. I always cared about people, even though most people didn't care and picked on me, I'd still put them before me. Austin taught me to be more loving. He said I'd get somewhere in life and if no one wanted to see me get big, then they weren't worth my time. He was though. He was always worth my time, and he still is.

It was now I realized, I'm still in love with Austin. And he has to know that.

As I was walking I started thinking about our friendship in high school. He was my best friend and we did everything together. As cheesy as it sounds, he kept my feet on the ground and my head in the clouds. No matter what he stayed by my side and always encouraged me. He practically got me to where I am today. Even if he did kinda ruin my love life, he helped me meet all these friends. Without his encouragement and his loving advice, I wouldn't be a tattoo artist and I wouldn't be on warped tour right now. I've met PTV, who are some of the nicest friends I have, ATL, who are now some of my closest friends thanks to my drunken state. I've met his best friends of OM&M, and so many other bands that are playing this year on warped.

No matter how hard I want to blame Austin for all the horrible things in my life, I can't help but thank him. I should tell him that I wouldn't be here without him. I still can't find him though. I haven't seen anybody from OM&M actually.

I ran back to the buses to try to find Alex or Jack. Maybe they have seen them. I knocked on their door but there was no answer. Seriously, is this some giant prank? What the hell is going on?

After a while I ended up going back to my bus. No one was on here either. How lovely. I went back to my bunk to find a note sitting on my pillow.

"Hailey,

Dude, we couldn't find you anywhere and we wanted to go out for drinks. Austin decided to wait up for you just in case you came back. However, before our set finished, something happened to him on stage. You have to get to the nearest hospital. Austin isn't in great condition and we don't know what could possibly happen. Try to remain calm, even though this is a lot to take in. Please hurry if you get this message. Call me if you need anything.

Alan."

I gasped and tried to concentrate on my breathing. Austin could be dying and I'm not even there.

"Hailey?! Are you here?! Shit, come on Hails. Where the fuck did you go?" I calmed down enough to walk into the front lounge to see Vic pacing back and forth.

"Vic is he okay?!"

"Hailey! Where have you been?! Tony and Jack were looking for you for like two hours!"

"I was looking for everyone else! No one even answered my calls or texts."

"Just come on! We need to get back to Austin! This is a life or death situation and we're all worried sick."

I was out of that bus and into Vic's car as fast as my legs could take me. I was so worried. Austin could possibly die and I won't be able to say another word to him ever again.

The car ride to the hospital was nerve wrecking. I couldn't stop shaking. I started hyperventilating and couldn't stop thinking negative thoughts. I don't know what I would do if Austin was gone.

Please, if there's a god up there, I pray you keep him safe and keep him here with all his loving friends.

Vic parked the car but before I got out he grabbed my shoulder. "Hailey everyone in there doesn't know what's going to happen. The doctor hasn't even come in to tell us what happened. The best thing to do is stay calm and keep quiet. He's been unconscious and hopefully the doctor will come in soon to tell us everything. Please try to stay calm, even when he's in his weakest state." I nodded and proceeded to make my way inside.

After taking my picture for ID, Vic and I made our way to Austin's room. Room 544.

I slowly opened the door, slightly shocked they let everyone in the room at once. Everyone looked towards me and gave me a sad smile. Everyone knows about Austin and I. I'm repeatedly told everyday that we have so much chemistry together.

I looked towards the bed and my heart shattered. Austin looked to broken, so weak, so tired. My heart couldn't take it anymore. I was freaking out and I think everyone noticed. Alex came to sit me down next to Alan. I put my head on his shoulder and finally let my tears escape my eyes. I closed them for what seemed like hours but I'm pretty sure it was only a few minutes.

I heard the door open and everyone's head shifted towards the door. A man walked in reading a chart and chuckled when he saw us all in here.

"So I guess you're all here for Mr. Carlile. Well, I know you all must be anxious for some answers. Austin must undergo surgery for him to get better. His major blood vessel in his heart had a tear in it, causing his heart to full with blood. So we have to replace parts of his heart with some artificial parts to help prevent that from happening again." The doctor told us with his thick British accent.

The tension was incredibly thick in the room and I'm pretty sure it made the doctor uncomfortable. We thanked him as he exited the room. I was even more nervous than before. What if something happens during the surgery? What if something goes wrong? I'm so worried and right now my anxiety level is out of control.

"Come on guys, lets give her a minute." Everyone shifted out the room for a second. I may as well get practice to say it to his face. I grabbed his hand and looked at him, so fragile.

"Austin, I know you probably can't hear me, but please don't leave me. I need you. You can't go. I know you, you're stronger than anyone I know and you're a tough kid. You've been through a lot and I know you can make it through this. Just please don't leave me. Don't go, ever. I need you beside me, encouraging me to live my dream and keep going in life. Please stay, please. I-I love you Austin." As tears started falling, I swear I felt his hand squeeze mine, yet I know that's not possible.

I left the room and sat next to Tino. He gave me a quick pat on the shoulder and whispered to me. "He'll be fine kid." I really hope so.

A few minutes later, the nurses came to take Austin into another room for surgery. I hope those doctors fix his heart and bring him back to me... I mean us.

Just a couple hours later, the British doctor called us over, to talk about Austin I presume. I'm shaking at how nervous I am. The doctor looked uncomfortable still and now I'm even more worried. Austin could be dead right now or recovering nicely from the surgery.

"How's Austin?" Alan asked.

"Austin, well he's......"

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CLIFFHANGER AHAHA!

How do you guys like this chapter?

Didn't see it coming did you?

I was nervous for uploading this.

What do you think is going to happen with Austin?

I hope everyone that's going to warped stays safe. Keep hydrated, wear sunscreen, wear light clothing. It's going to be hot as tits. But have a good time nonetheless.

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Love you guys & thank you for reading