✓ THE BLOODLESS PRINCESS. aemond targaryen

𝙭𝙞𝙞. infertility

chapter twelve. infertility

ALAESSA pausing to pluck a dead leaf from a rosebush. Elaena catches up to her, slightly breathless. It had been the next day since the family drama dinner. Rhaenyra and her family had left for Dragonstone early that morrow.

"Alaessa, must you walk so fast? You'd think we were fleeing the dragonpit!" Lady Elaena speaks, looking around at the garden.

Alaessa sighed, as she turned around, "Forgive me, Elaena. My mind races. It is— difficult to find peace, these days."

"Difficult? It feels more like a siege. Every single conversation in the Red Keep somehow circles back to the same thing, doesn't it?"

Alaessa jaw tightened, "You know what it is. Heirs. Always heirs. It's as if I am nothing more than a vessel for... a nursery."

Lady Elaena frowned, "Queen Alicent is...persistent, I'll grant her that. She corners you at every turn. 'Are you well, Princess? Is there anything you need? Perhaps a comfortable couch for— rest?" Elaena mimics the Queen's sugary tone, earning a small chuckle from Alaessa.

"She makes it sound as if I'm on the brink of collapse when she speaks of rest and comfort. She's more subtle now, but the intention is clear. Every look, every question about my health, it's never about me. It's always about when I'm going to start breeding,"

Elaena nodded, "It's exhausting just listening. And they forget that you've only been married not many years yet. Good gods, give it time!" Alaessa head fell low as she modded, "Many woman breed within the year of marriage. They seem unwilling to grant me. Viserys— he's not pushing, not directly. But he's so enthralled by his grandchildren that I do sometimes feel like I am letting him and the realm down by not presenting him with a Targaryen heir."

Elaena nodded, "But everyone knows that a child cannot be willed into existence. You and Prince Aemond— you are working on it, no?"

Alaessa turns away, her voice cracking, "What am I to say? That I am not some broodmare to be paraded and bred? That the strain is already making our... union... less enjoyable because I feel like a prize instead of a wife? She sees me, knows what pressures they put on me, but seems to think it will be easier to "get on with things" if she pushes a little more. I am beginning to loathe her smiling face."

Elaena places a hand gently on Alaessa' arm, "You shouldn't have to endure this alone. I've heard her say things too, things that imply that you're somehow deficient if you haven't produced an heir yet."

"I am not deficient, Elaena! I am a Velaryon. I've yet to sailed the seas, I've learned from the best my father, and yet now all I am is my womb. I feel— trapped," Princess Alaessa raised her voice, making Lady Elaena nod looking down.

Lady Elaena looked back up at her dear friend, "You are brave and strong, Alaessa, and I hate to see this stress wear you down. If Prince Daemon were here, he'd have her head for treating you this way."

Alaessa grinned, "He would, wouldn't he? I wish... I wish I had more spine. I feel like I always have to be so... composed. I'm sick of swallowing my anger."

Elaena shrugged, "Then don't. Let it out, Alaessa. For once, be the dragon you are, not the princess they want you to be. Perhaps not with Alicent... at least not yet, but with your friends, with your family... There's no need to keep that fire inside," Alaessa looks at Elaena, a spark of defiance igniting in her eyes.

"Perhaps... perhaps you're right. I have been too accommodating for too long. Maybe... maybe it's time to make my own demands."

She looks down at the rosebush and then back up, her gaze firm. The weight of her frustration hasn't completely lifted, but a new resolve has taken its place.

Lady Elaena smiles encouragingly, "That's the spirit. Now, shall we find some wine? I've been dying for something stronger than water."

Alaessa lets out a small laugh. The two women walk on, the tension between them lessening slightly, but the fire of their conversation still smoldering just beneath the surface.

── ୨୧ ──

ALAESSA made her way to her bed chambers, the talk between her and Lady Elaena still in her mind.

It had been true, Queen Alicent pushed Alaessa too much about having an heir, but Alaessa would be with child but lose it within the moons.

It did sadden Alaessa, she didn't understand the feeling of wishing for something so badly until it had been taking away from you without choice.

Alaessa wanted to be a mother, she'd be a good one. But the gods had taken them all away.

Alaessa sat on her bed, changing into her nightdress, "Sweet wife."

Alaessa looked up as she finished tying up her strings of her nightdress, "Husband."

Aemond frowned at her tone, "Has something happened?"

Alaessa shook her head, not wishing to shed tears, "Do not lie," Aemond stood in front of her, Alaessa' head hung low, his finger hooked under her chin and titled it up for him to meet her eyes.

He saw the tears in her eyes, "She expects so much from
me," Alaessa voice shook, "Whom?"

"Your mother."

Aemond knew what she meant. For many months she'd meet with Alaessa and ask if she'd been with child yet.

Aemond didn't blame Alaessa for the lose of their babes, she had no control how her wombs grown. He did hate the gods very much for taking so much from his wife.

He would even hear he cry herself to sleep.

"Do not listen to her, she doesn't understand," Alaessa looked up at him with teary eyes, "And you do?"

He nodded his head, "As your husband— as i've said many times before– I don't wish for an heir if it causes you harm."

"You mean it?"

He nodded and she grinned, his arms opened and she embraced her husband as his arms wrapped around her whole body.

author note: i actually feel really bad for alaessa. not able to keep a child in her womb :(