We'll Be Each Other's Saviours

Chapter Eighteen

*Danni's POV*

A few hours after I came out out of my coma I was free to get back to touring. I was ordered to not strain myself mentally or physically though, which meant not being around the hustle and bustle of the venues for a week. If I did anything physically demanding, I would tear my stitches. Anything mentally demanding, and there was a good chance I would have a breakdown.

I tried to object to that, as it meant me sitting around the bus all day, but gave in eventually to Andy's pleading puppy dog eyes. Damn that man and his gorgeous eyes. The doctor prescribed me pain killers and off we went.

The guys caught me up on what I'd missed while I was out, which was that Juliet was being tried for attempted murder and that Johnnie was needed as a witness. Speaking of Johnnie, I was surprised to see that he had stayed behind from Warped to wait for me to wake up, which we got into a fight over.

"You shouldn't have left tour to stay with me, Johnnie! What about your fans?"

"The hell with my fans! You're my friend! I was worried about you!"

I slammed my fists down on the small counter of the tour bus. "That's not an excuse! Your fans should mean more to you than me!"

It was well into the middle of the night. We were hauling ass, trying to catch up to the rest of Warped Tour and none of us were getting any sleep because of mine and Johnnie's bickering. The guys had given up on sleep about an hour ago and were trying to drown out our fighting with a movie.

"Why is it such a crime for me to care about my friend?" He yelled at me, throwing his hands in the air.

"Because for some fans, this may be a once in a life time chance to meet you! You can't just take that away from them!" I was furious, my face apple red. I couldn't help that BVB had stayed behind, but Johnnie had had the choice.

"I said I would make it up to them somehow!"

"Yeah, 'somehow'!" I shot back at him, making air quotes with my hands.

"Can you both just shut the fuck up?!" CC yelled from the other room.

"It's in the past, Danni. He can't help anything now," Andy added, trying to diffuse the situation.

I huffed and stormed into the bunk room. So much for not doing anything 'mentally demanding'. It was all my fault that they all stayed behind. I just had to go and get caught by Juliet. I opened up the side pocket of Andy's duffle bag. I thought I remembered seeing him put them in there. If I could just... There!

I pulled out the bag of shiny metal blades that he had taken from me at the start of tour. My skin burned and itched for the soothing relief of the cold metal. I stuck one in my back pocket and replaced the bag carefully. I quickly headed into the bathroom and turned the shower on so that they wouldn't hear me from the lounge.

I leaned over the counter and took a deep breath. Lowering my jean shorts a bit, I pressed the razor to my  hip so that the marks wouldn't be visible. I inhaled sharply as one red line appeared. Relief washed over me as my stress disappeared for a few seconds. When it reappeared, I created another line, and then another, relishing in the pain. I watched as the blood dripped out into the sink. I was glad that I'd sat on the counter so that the blood would go into the sink instead of onto the floor. I switched sides quickly.

At eight lines I stopped and washed my hips and the blade off. I felt like a weight had been temporarily lifted from my shoulders. I looked up at the mirror and gasped at my wet cheeks. I hadn't even realized that I had been crying.

I splashed some cold water on my face so that the redness would go away and pulled my shorts back up, grinding my teeth as they rested right on the marks I had made. I tucked the razor into my back pocket, turned off the shower, and headed back to the bunk room.